Recently there has been consternation on the part of a number of patriotic Americans who are outraged by a San Francisco football player named Colin Kaopectate or something like that.
He has refused to stand for our national anthem. Instead, he does a one-knee stance. Naturally, the patriots among us are horrified at such blatant disrespect.
But: we've got it all wrong! Kaopectate is kneeling to show his deep reverence for America! He is showing himself to be, literally, in thrall to America and our policies. How did we ever get it so wrong? Apologies to Kaopectate!
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