Gentleman vs. Lout or Homemade or Store Bought

A Taste of Home, a foodie magazine that purports to transport us back in time to the family dining room table, included the following recipe:

GENTLEMAN'S WHISKEY BACON JAM

1 1/2 lbs. thick-sliced bacon, finely chopped
8 shallots, finely chopped
1 large sweet onion, finely chopped
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 tsp. chili powder
1/2 tsp. paprika
pinch of pepper
1/2 cup whiskey
1/2 cup maple syrup
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
1/2 cup packed brown sugar

Cook the bacon, drain on paper towels.  Toss all but 2 T grease and saute the shallots and onion. 
Stir in the garlic and cook 30 seconds.  Remove from heat, stir in the whiskey - DON'T LET IT FLARE UP and maple syrup.  Back to the fire, boil for 3 minutes, stirring constantly.

Add the vinegar and brown sugar, stir constantly for 3 minutes.

Add the bacon, bring down the heat and cook for 12 minutes

They recommend putting half of the finished product in a Cuisinart and then mixing the pureed with the clumpy and, after it cools, bottle it and label it prettily and give it to close friends.  Don't ship it to far away destinations because it only lasts five days in the refrigerator.  All three cups of it.

The above is the gentleman's version.  Below is the lout's -
Liberate a $20 from you loved one's purse/wallet, go to the nearest Trader Joe's and buy a jar of Uncured Bacon Jam, 8.5 oz.  Buy some English muffins to put the jam on and sally forth home to feast.  To be less "loutish" it would be good form to invite the person who funded this purchase to join you at the table. Just sayin'...