Everything's Coming Up Roses! Um, Not Exactly

When I moved to Southern California in 1964 from Kansas City, MO, I was anxious to see if not embrace the cultural differences.  Kansas City had the annual American Royal Stock Show with a parade through the city and a presentation of debutantes on the floor of the arena.  It was hilarious to watch the debs avoiding the cow patties in their long, regal dresses but that was about all of  the amusement there was.  Other than the year a running mate and I stalked a Shriner with the intent of stealing his fez.  He was drunk, but we were, too.  Conclusion:  zip.

But the Rose Bowl Parade, I was told was the granddaddy of them all for sheer exuberance and beautiful flowers used to make imaginative floats.  Dutifully I watched my first and was impressed by the floats.

Over the years, my viewing devolved  into watching for what had become the set pieces for this parade:

The truck transporting the float overheated and stopped, holding up everything behind it. This might happen several times.

One of the horses in one of the equestrian clubs would freak out and the rider's maneuvers to contain the horse would again provide a delay.

One of the float makers had miscalculated and the float was too tall to go under phone or electric wires.  Much ado with designated pole workers who manually lifted the wires. 

But the biggest surprise came when I, in my ignorance, was to learn that all those flowers on all of those floats were not flowers at all. 

A partial list, gleaned from various sources:
Seeds and grains
Dried beans - kidney, lima, etc.
Lentils
Dried seaweed - sushi quality
Coconut flakes
Kumquats, oranges, lemons
Artichokes
Brussel sprouts
Spices for color, such as turmeric
Parsley
Split peas
Carrots
White rice
Radishes
Asparagus spears

Since Thanksgiving, various organizations that feed the homeless have been pleading for donations for the rest of the year.  Maybe they could come and forage among the floats that are destroyed two days after the parade?  Otherwise all that food will just be wasted which is pretty much what the Rose Bowl Parade is - a waste of time, money and resources.