Just Waiting For The Obituary

Whom (or what) am I mourning prematurely?  A dear old friend of mine; one who has proven to be consistently amusing and one with whom I have spent many happy hours at my own dining room table.  We've been friends since I was a little girl, exchanging confidences with my girl friends.  We've met a lot of people together and mostly enjoyed them.

But my poor friend!  This is not going to be one of those obituaries that reads, "after a long battle with (disease)."  No, it hasn't taken Social Media long at all to kill off poor old Conversation.

This is the best example I can think of to illustrate today's ways; it's certainly a preliminary strike at Conversation.  A male friend of ours invited a young lady out for a reviving cocktail after work and she happily accepted.  They met as pre-arranged and she promptly began texting and answering phone calls and not briefly either.  He tried to make conversation, only to be repeatedly told, "Hold on a second - I've got to take this call/answer this text" thumbs flying. 

After some 20 or 30 minutes of sitting patiently, watching her operate her mini- media center, he stood up.  Amazed, she glanced up from her phone and said, "You aren't going, are you?" in surprise.  He said, "Yes, I'll leave you to Communications Central here," nodding at her brightly-lit phone and walked out the door. 

This situation puzzled me.  She had a live person (presumably buying drinks to boot) with whom to converse, but "the others" - far away - were of more interest.  I truly couldn't understand it.

And then yesterday, I read a line in a book which said, "Oh, she's one of those people that isn't alive unless she's talking on the phone.  It's how she establishes her existence to herself."

So, all of the people you see feverishly texting and talking?  This is their only means of assuring themselves that they are real.  There is so much emphasis on Being Out There, Being Seen that human interfacing with live  people doesn't exist any more.  The only way to show that you yourself aren't dead is to be in constant communication with someone - anyone! - out there.  And the more that people rely on social media networking, the fewer there are of live people with which to have a genuine conversation, like with words 'n all and those facial expression things? 

Don't they get it?  In effect, these people are working diligently to isolate themselves further.

And thus, they are convinced that they are real and they matter, but they have to keep sending and reciving message to stay alive.  And they have to post comments or better still, photos, minute by minute.

Grown-ups have it made.  We know who and what we are and we don't have to prove it.  But pretty soon we'll be reduced to talking to ourselves.  Conversation, I'm really going to miss you ...