Two Different Men

Andre Agassiz, tennis; John Waters, semi-porn. Both have books out ...

"Open" by Agassiz (with J.R. Moehringer) Alfred A. Knopf 386 paes $28.95

"Role Models" by Waters Farrar, Straus & Giroux 304 pages $25

Agassiz recounts a Dickensian childhood with an extremely motivated father (You will be the best!) and Waters refers often to his lovely mother and her shock and then acceptance of some of his didoes.

Agassiz is straight; Waters is gay. Agassiz's marriage to Steffi Graf and their two children have made him blissfully happy. Waters wants no part of "romance" or an ongoing relationship.

Agassiz finds beauty in a perfect serve; Waters in his avant-garde art collection. He's a Cy Twombley fan. Yes, well ... having seen some of his works at the De Menil, Houston, I'm not.

Waters has a great sense of the ridiculous; Agassiz tries. He remarked, "My entourage is thinning faster than my hair!" and of an opponent that he was going to beat him like a whipping with a car antenna.

Waters advocates social lawlessness; Agassiz, busted when traces of meth were found in his urine, lied and said he'd mistakenly drunk from a friend's soft drink.

If you want a blow-by-blow description of backstage at Wimbledon et al; go to Andre. If you want to go backstage in Baltimore - it's bawdy and fun! Waters' world is not that of most of the rest of us and refreshing for all of that as he brings a child's unchallenging acceptance of an adult's world.