You Goin' to the Class Wars?

The Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival is to take place April 17, 18 and 19, 2009, on the Empire Polo Fields, near Indio. Some 60,000 people attended last year to see headliners Prince and Dwight Yoakum, among others. Amy Winehouse was scheduled for this year until US Immigration refused her a visa. coachella.com

A three-day event pass is $272 and one can camp out. Camp Out! Eekers!

Clearly the festival folks knew there were idiots like me so they offer their "Safari Tents." These are fully-floored tents with choice of queen or twin beds, tables and chairs, floral arrangements, mirrors, A/C, electrical outlets, a free breakfast (from 7 to 10 a.m.) an over-21 bar, two All Access passes, special shuttles to and from the action, a free parking lot for your Mercedes, additional security officers and an ATM machine for your use. And a 1st aid station, should you need it. You are, however, requested to leave Rover and Fluffy and all outdoor barbecue cooking equipment at home.

Sounds nice you purr... Price? $5,000 for the first two people into the tent, $1,000 each for every additional guest (and some of the tents hold six.) It could be argued that Coachella planners forgot to include the shuttle to and from Palm Springs airport, where naturally one would leave one's G5.

I like to envision the 3-dayers suddenly spying this enclave of luxury and (presumably) peace, gathering as the word spreads and then charging! Jumping over the golden ropes -- subduing the special security! cleaning out the bar, Porthault linens... whatever! Gives me a nice little glow...But most likely the masses would merely laugh up their sleeves at the foolishness of the rich ... desert dwellers are pretty sensible. They have to be!