Let's Have Dinner Out/In

I coined this phrase to cheer myself up.  Yesterday, Thursday, back in olden days, we would usually go out for dinner.   Richie once asked, "Why Thursdays?" in puzzled tones.  "Because," I said, "that was the cook's night off in Victorian days. At rich men's  tables..."  "Oh," he said, looking somewhat puzzled  But he laughed anyhow.  Richie's laugh comes easy.

Explanation - We went Out to Dinner to Bring dinner In so that we could eat it!  We went out to Las Brisas to bring home Arroz con Pollo for Richie and a Mexican-style shrimp cocktail  for me.  Six fat shrimp nestling in the bottom of a tall drink container with a wonderful tomato broth with diced raw zucchini, cilantro, onion.

These recent unpleasantness reminded me of a late friend's book - "Look Back and Laugh" by Jean Desmond who stole the phrase (oft-quoted at the Desmond home by her mother who prefaced it by the use of "Someday you'll look back and laugh.)  and to wonder to myself (no one else would be interested) if anything about Coronavirus would or could ever be funny.

The possibilities from a confirmed optimist include - "I put on a mask and my cat ran away and hid under the bed".  "My dog followed me around the house all day long, looking quizzically at me  as if to say, "What are you doing here?"  The goldfish didn't react in any way.  Other than their daily feeding frenzy for food.  Whoever said goldfish are stupid, rethink it.  They know what time breakfast and dinner occur. And they let you know, too.

Tonight Only!

Tonight May 7th is the third and last of the super Moons.  Tonight the Super Flower Moon  will be 6 percent larger than usual and - bonus points - it will be accompanied by the Eta Aquariids meteor shower.

This has been preceded by same or similar  moons - variously known as Mother's Moon or Milk Moon or Corn Planting Moon.  There won't be another until April 2021.  Don't miss it now!

I intended to suggest going to the Griffith Park Observatory, but checked first and they are CLOSED due to the virus.  We can only hope that the usual personnel will be there, cameras at the ready.

Save the Observatory for future reference; if you think about it this is as close to outer space we're going to get.  Don't forget your light saber if you go!

"Privacy? Oh, that thing that we used to have before the virus?"

For a long time, avid mystery novels have featured scenes where the good guys try to locate the psychos and serial killers by asking the cell user's provider to turn on the "finder" in the phone to locate the miscreant.  Rather incredibly, this is covered by Senate Bill (SB) 1290, known casually as the Kelsey Smith Law.

Comes now the Thermal Solution, a heat seeking device that can instantly diagnose the virus based on the person's body heat.  It is being tested at  Stonehill Towers, an apartment complex in  a suburb of Boston.   Tenants must pass the 5 or 6 second test - think airport security and the Step Inside booth - after removing their hat and glasses.  If their temperature is higher than 100 degrees, an alarm sounds and presumably the virus police swoop down like mighty eagles and what?  Ban you from going into to your own home?  haul your feverish butt off to an ER?   False positive must be frequent because do they consider what you might have been doing before you got home?  Finished your five mile run?  Did you  ride your bike longer than a half hour?  Just climb out of bed with your personal trainer?

Thermal Solution seems designed for industrial use, but there are a number of single operator devices for use on a more personal level.  "Oh Maude is  this is your invitation's Plus One?  Step over here, sir, by the bar I just want to run this wand over you.  (ha ha) no we're not flying anywhere this evening!"    

I Like Cashews - But Cashew Milk? I Never Heard of That!

Now I have, due to an atypical hot spell we've been having here near the beaches (which are also in lockdown)  as well as us.  We can't even park along the ocean to catch the refreshing breeze or admire the seascape right in front of us.  Rot Gov. Newsom.

Thus at the supermarket I was checking out the dessert freezers for a nice chocolate-covered ice cream bar for hot afternoons.  Not much choice especially for a sea salt caramel freak.

But:  what ho?  SO Delicious diary free DIPPED salted caramel cashew milk bars.  The Web site for this 180 calories per bar (four bars to a box) treat is SoDeliciousDairyFree.com

Cashew milk is made of finely ground cashews with salt and water to thin as desired.  It has just the perfect  faint taste of sea salt and I'm guessing that comes when you use salted cashews.

It is purposed to be used as regular milk.  What if you had made chocolate cashew ice cream and then served it with a good splash of caramel syrup... I think you would be into something good.  Or, rather,  SO Delicious.   Made in Eugene, OR

You Don't have To Be a Dad To Laugh

boredpanda.com sez so - forthwith:

What sounds like a sneeze?  A shoe!

Peter Pan is always flying, flying - he Neverlands.

I did a jigsaw puzzle in only a week!  I'm so proud because the box says, "2 to 4 years."

I told my wife to embrace her errors - she stepped up to me and hugged me!

My landlord wanted to talk to me about what he considered my exorbitant heating bills so I told him, "Come right in - my door is always open."

Toilet paper is scarce; I've been forced to use old newspapers - boy, The Times is rough!

For a joke I bought some friends a big stuffed elephant and sneaked it into their living room.  They were delighted; thanked me profusely and I had to say, "Don't mention it"

An Unexpected Shortage Due to the Virus

Of all of the things I would never have expected to be in short supply is this:  Condolence cards.  No kidding!  So I went digging.

The Greeting Card Association reports that one should have cards on hand because they are a way to express your sympathy and sorrow, acknowledging this event without really doing anything.  Like jumping on a plane and going to the funeral, if any.  You have done your part with a tasteful card.

Tasteful to mean your handwritten note inside the card does not start "So - how much did the old bastard leave you anyhow?"

Europe was slow to get in on this card business. I can speak for the French when I report that the cards sold today are only for New Year's or one's saint's day - not birthday cards to an individual.  Few were sold in 1971, but by 2006 sales had picked up considerably.

Same source - Greeting Card Assoc.  Women buy more condolence cards and/or flowers  than men.  Their nurturing nature is thought to be the reason.    Never mind the witches you may know.

Here is a sort of all-purpose message written by (no kidding) Helen Keller:
"What was once enjoyed and deeply loved, we can never lose.  For, all that we deeply love becomes a part of us."

I don't think you'd send a card to a chocolate cake, but her description fits a helluva lot of things.
Maybe send it to Alcoholics Anonymous for a sort of secondary Serenity Prayer?

Oh, and while card shopping - just to have a stock on hand - don't forget your friends' pets.  Yes, cards are now on the market for the demise of our furry/feathered/finned friends.  And commerce rolls on.  Get your billfold out.

Charles Dickens and the Great Typhus Plague of 1861-69.

We aren't the only ones being held captive in our own houses.  I was kvetching about the situation and someone  reminded me that Anne Frank and her family lived in an attic for two years.

Dickens was born February 7, 1812 --- hmm - was the 1812 Overture written to honor him?  Just joshing.

He died on June 9, 1970, at the ripe old age of 58 in a time when the average life span was 27 years for Londoners and for the working class?  Party hearty, you'll be dead by the time you're 22. Live hard and die young, for sure.

The Victorian Age was a tough time in which to be born.  The Victorians were all hoity-toity prissy (piano legs were never referred to in polite conversation.) but a survey in 1851 told the truth - 1/3 of the population never set food in church.

In 1847 500,000  or one-fourth the entire population had typhus - due to the horrific sanitation found in London.

In 1839 nearly half of the funerals in London were for children younger than 10.  Cause?  Contagious disease (chicken pox, measles) and malnutrition.  Dickens and wife Catherine Thomson Hogarth (not the descendent of Hogarth the painter.) had 10 children in their house plus his younger brother and her younger sister Mary.  There may have been/surely was some hanky-panky between Mr. Dickens and Miss Mary for when she died suddenly, he was absolutely gutted.  Catherine had to take him to the country to try to assuage his grief.

In June of 1870 Dickens suffered from a paralytic stroke and promptly died at 58.  At least he beat the odds for 27 or 22.

And we think we're being hard-shipped.  If you get into time travel, stay the hell out of London during the above years.