Sunday, June 25, 2017

The Pleasures of Conversation With a Great Wit

Quite some time ago, looking to buy an oxygen mask that the flight attendants are issued  to carry on board any plane that I took, I ran across the proprietor of a site that sells gently-used airplane parts.  I was tempted by the control panel for a 747, but budgetary concerns kept my hands out of my purse.

During the dialogue that subsequently ensued, I became friends with the former pilot who runs this charitable (and not for him) enterprise.  He is screamingly funny and every missive is cause for great roars of laughter on my part.

I got into the habit of consulting with him on anything aeronautical. Today was no different.  We're flying to San Antonio soon.  The aircraft will be an Embraer and I'd never heard of one.

So we discussed the Embraer, a jet made in Rio, that is being used for some American Airlines short hops.  I wondered if it was a make he liked to fly  (God knows he's flown everything with wings) and here we go ....

Not to worry, the planes are fine, and even though it's probably really Mesa or some other regional line wearing an American paint job, they do a good job.  Relax, keep your feet off of the seats and don't speak Arabic and I've heard, flying down in that area, they have a chef roast an armadillo, no trouble as those are found dead on the highway about one per mile in Texas.

And I wrote back:  You never disappoint.  No, I was asking you about these only because I always liked the S80 - very whippy, apparently responsive and they don't seem to need a 10-mile long runway. 

Armadillos are a bitch to peel.  I shall ask for mine to be shelled in the kitchen/galley. 

If I spoke French (am fluent) in Texas, they'd probably think it was Arabic.

Oddly enough, despite many journeys to South Texas, have never seen an armadillo (dead or alive) by the side of the road.  Either the Highway Commission is on it or they have a lot of hungry poor people. 

Re asking for it to be shelled in the galley, he wrote back, "Just as you'd order lobster, ask for the tail (meat) only."

I wish I'd seen this - our correspondent in Texas wrote that she had seen a dead armadillo  by the side of the road, lying on his back, holding a beer can. 

Our mothers were right - the evils of drink - lying on the side of the road like a dead armadillo.  Can't you see them shaking an admonitory finger? 

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