My fellow Luddites, I don't want to alarm any of you unnecessarily but yesterday I saw a device that so alarmed me that I very nearly ran out of the store and into traffic.
Richie and I had popped into our local Hallmark to get a get-well card for a dear friend. Found the perfect card, paid for it and then Richie spotted what looked like a back scratcher lying near the register.
He picked it up, but it wasn't a back scratcher. Where the soothing little claws would normally be? Instead there was a smallish rectangle or frame containing nothing at all. Richie turned to the store owner with a quizzical look.
"Oh," she caroled, "That's a selfie stick! We just got them in today. You put your camera in the frame at the top -- the handle is adjustable for distance..." sliding the frame up and down.
My disbelief was considerable. In fact, I couldn't utter a word for at least 30 seconds while my mind, in shock, turned over the implications, motivations and sheer stupidity of potential buyers. Unless a woman wanted to avoid a trip to the ob/gyn, what possible use could be employed by it?
I tell you my fellow Luddites, I felt a cold wind pass by me. It was the forerunner of The End As We Know It of Civilized Life. Prepare and act accordingly. Before it's too late and we have all taken to the streets brandishing selfie sticks and clicking madly away at our own selves.
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