Miss Manners is the pen name of a longtime etiquette expert Judith Martin. In an effort to augment the good manners taught me by my parents, I have read her many books with a great deal of interest. So I speak as someone who is reasonably knowledgeable about manners. Which is not to say that my personal conduct is impeccable. Doctors will say, "Don't do as I do; do what I tell you to do."
Recently a friend's mate died. Naturally we sent a condolence card. Note: ever since I got old myself (and how the hell did that happen?) I have kept a stock of condolence cards because most of our friends are reaching A Certain Age. We duly sent one.
Some time later, we received this card in the mail. Cover: With Special Thanks" (inside) "Your kind expression of sympathy will always be remembered." and signed "the XYZ family."
This is the kind of Victorian recognition that grew on me. It is a stately minuet of manners and at a time when condolence cards are probably being sent online (the horror) is very welcome.
But so far, Miss Manners hasn't mentioned it.
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