French Facilities 101

French toilets (and they're called that, not bathrooms or restrooms) generally speaking are unisex which means first come, first served. Cubicles are doored down to the floor and up to the ceiling. I mention this because some have a window (and thus light) and others are on a timer switch (apparently 30 seconds) so in the midst of a visit, you may suddenly be plunged into utter darkness. Be prudent and orient yourself before closing the door. You may want to carry a little penlight in your pocket. As well as Kleenex or paper napkins -- no one is going to give you change for a $10 in there.

The wash basins may -- or most likely may not -- have soap. The usual method of hand drying is a small blow dryer that you activate by putting your hands under it. Best to carry a bottle of Purell rather than depend on the generosity of the French.

Public pay toilets cost 1 Eu per visit ($1.37 American) and are highly efficient. You look at the light system next to the coin slot before making a deposit. Green means it's okay to go in; Amber means cleaning is being finished and Red means the door is locked and you can't get in because the paper dispensor has vanished into a wall and the toilet lid is closed. The interior of the entire room is being hosed down automatically. For this reason, don't try to beat the system and save a Euro by holding the door for your buddy and slipping out. BAD IDEA. They'll be drenched in an evil-smelling chemically-treated gout of water.

In all toilets, the water is kept at a low level; thus when you flush there is this tremendous spurt of water that geysers out. Be smart, close the lid first!

Incidentally, many public toilets have no seat and lid -- just the bare porcelain rim upon which to rest your behind. The French invite you to partake of their hospitality, not vacation there.

Now you're ready to "go" in France!