Monday, January 26, 2009

Extreme Makeover

"Men Are Stupid ... And They Like Big Boobs; A Woman's Guide to Beauty Through Plastic Surgery" by Joan Rivers with Valerie Frankel. Pocket Books $25 288 pages

Clearly, men are not the only ones who are stupid. Rivers boasts that she's had 11 of the 15 procedures detailed in this book which range from mild (skin peel) to major (surgeries of 5 or 6 hours on the table.)

She believes that getting man rests solely on one's looks. How medieval is that?

Rivers apparently wants the admiration of men (plural) but has no desire to have her own (singular.) She's 75, been through endless procedures -- perhaps she's afraid intimacy would cause a massive migration of body parts?

She espouses treatments from the top of your head (hair transplants) to your toes (fat injections for bony feet.) The "mommy make-over" is "not recommended until you stop breast feeding your last child" and is rather grotesque. The surgeon goes in through the belly and stitches your abs back together again like tightening a shoe lace. I was horrifed to read about beautifying one's lady parts! 'Way too much information. ...

But if you've ever looked at some part of your body and murmured a thoughtful "Hmmm" to yourself, you'll enjoy this book. What did strike me as funny (besides some nice catty lines) was Rivers' habit of telling readers that if they don't like surgical descriptions, to skip on a few pages.
Not too helpful if you're actually considering that procedure.

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