An Idle Question Prompts Important Information

My best friend Michelle wrote from Bretagne, France, that her son/our godson Fabien was surfing every day at the beaches there.  One beach, La Torche, is the site of an annual international surf championship.

Richie wondered aloud at this - "Do they have sharks there?"  Here's what I found.  In Bretagne one needs to be careful of the Porbeagle shark which authorities say runs 2.5 meters long which, translated is eight feet.

Okay Bretagne is northern France, not far from Dunkirk, Normandy and other WW2 landing beaches.  What about the famed French Riviera?  Cannes, St. Tropez?  Nice?  The last shark attack in their waters was in the 1840s.  French waters, by and large, are shark free.  Allee! Into the water!

When or probably "if" we can travel again, file this and pack your bathing suit.  

Meanwhile - cool French vacations.  Fabien, his first cousin Florente are even now in Corse (Corsica) on a rented sailboat with captain and crew and 5 or 6 of their best friends.  Oddly enough, I noted that most of the friends are women.  

This renting a domicile is by no means a new thing.  Ski season they rent a chalet.  To escape Paris heat, they go north to Trouville, Deauville, - and rent a house.  But I like the sailboat idea the best...will have to tell them to watch for sharks though.

Are the British Royals Going to the "Dawgs"? *

Dawgs here used refers to American slang - dawgs for feet.  "My dawgs are killing me!  Why did I buy these shoes?  Temporary derangement?"

Except certain of the Royals have taken feet to a new level.  Most recently Andrew Duke of York made the news by groping young women with a life-like puppet of himself.  The article referred to him as "Foot Fetisher Andrew …"  and went on from there.  That label a sort of an aside, if you will.   The burning question for me were - is it a life-size puppet or one of those that are no bigger than your forearm?

I found,  that Andrew is by no means alone, mainly caricatures of  famous politicians, historical characters and more and they were used on a British television program called "Spitting Image" which ran from 1984 to 1996.  After that was over, the creators donated all of the puppets to Cambridge University to what purpose, I have no idea.    However to satisfy your curiosity, the puppets appear to be life-size.  Andrew's was a gift from Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell.  

Did Andrew enjoy it?  We have only testimony from one of his victims on his reception of it.  She remarked in a forthcoming book that "He looked me up and down like a shiny new car and he was about to take a test drive."  This is believed to have taken place on March 10, 2001.

But had a predecessor to lead him down the path.  In fact it was his own wife, Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York.  She and Andrew had agreed to separate so "Fergie" (is that a name for a Duchess for pete's sake?) Took off with her "financial advisor" John Bryan for a 36 day tour of Thailand and Indonesia.  I anything happened during that, the press missed it.

It wasn't until they were visiting Saint Tropez that, feeling secure in their privacy, Bryan was sucking Fergie's toes who was decoratively displayed on a lounger by the water.  The press got on it like white on rice and ran the pictures with a story.

After that embarrassment,  the two went to Balmoral at the Queen's invitation and all hell broke out as the family read the papers with their lurid accounts and photos over  their breakfasts.    

I tell you with parents like that - the suckee and the sucked upon, I fear for the couple's two daughters.  

Never Get In A Car With a Stranger!

Your mother was onto something.  Even hospitals join in her warning!  I got the post op instructions in the mail yesterday.  Among them was, "Make arrangements for transportation to and from surgery.  No Taxis or Ubers."  

"Huh?  The reasoning apparently applies to the state of the patient on discharge.  If you are still a little out of it, either driver, either sex, may take advantage of you.  Our mothers could speculate on exactly what they are capable of and wring their hands nd moan but all we have to remember is, "Don't get into cars with strangers!"

Uber and cab owners might join together to promote a specific service for surgery transport - and recoup a certain loss of income due to cynical staff at the hospital.

How Sweet It Was! Or the Reign of Jackie Gleason

In the constant search for a new book since the main library is closed I rejoiced once again that we have frequented library book sales with gusto.  We Have Books.   And this was a charmer.

"How Sweet It Is - The Jackie Gleason Story, Foreword by Jackie Gleason and written by James Bacon.  $15.95 - 215 Pages 

The book abounds with details - almost always a good thing.  He and his fellow comics trade quips and descriptions all the way through.  Example, both Jackie and Uncle Miltie Berle were 

working at a rather disreputable Club Miami.  Berle said this about it, "The food was so bad there, the rats went next door to eat."  

Speaking of eating, it was a favorite thing to His Greatness - slightly behind drinking.  Bacon reports that Gleason's daily studio commissary lunch was  "Six doubles, Scotch and no food!"  A typical dinner might consist of a start of a dozen oysters, a heaping plate of spaghetti and meatballs with a pound or two of roast beef with potatoes, gravy and a big finish with an elaborate high calorie dessert.  At his weightiest he wore a size 51 suit.  

Gleason is probably best known for "The Honeymooners" with Art Carney and Audrey Meadows.

I thought this was interesting ...

Gleason was born Feb. 26, 1916.  and died June 24, 1987 of cancer.  Frankly I'm surprised it wasn't cirrhosis of the liver given his alcoholic  consumption on a daily basis.  His weight couldn't 

Art Carney was two years younger than Gleason, having been born Nov. 4, 1918.  He died age Nov. 9, 2003  He was 93 when he died of natural causes.

Audrey Meadows was the last to leave the stage having been the youngest of the trio born Feb, 8, 1922  She died Feb 3, 1996 of lung cancer having refused treatment instead  going for palliative care.  She was 73.

Face Mask Irony - Only in America

Specifically, the KN95 masks that  have been getting the publicity.  I read in the WSJ this morning that 60 per cent of these masks are made by 67 different manufacturers, mainly in China.  Their fault?  They let in more particles.  

A Senior FDA Device Regulator told them that the agency has been constantly responding to new data and science during the pandemic and we have provided regulatory flex when it is needed the most."

Irony at Gate 43...

I had a CT scan scheduled at Little Company of Mary Hospital and duly appeared at the check-in to let them know we were there as directed.  Bing!  We were handed white KN95 masks, one each.  We were wearing our own, But if it's offered, take it!  from that wise old Brooklyn philosopher, Prof.  Richie Murphy.

I didn't like the K95 I had started with but it had an excellent record and was the hot item of the day so I wore it.  - I could almost see my ears trending down from the tightness of the elastic bands holding the damned thing on.   I was thrilled with the good fit I was getting from this one without fearing gangrene of the ear.   

It finally dawned on me:  We got the virus from China.   We are now buying protective masks from the Chinese.  Anyone else see something "funny" about this?  Yeah it took me awhile but I'm a Natural Blonde (insert a couple of choice blonde jokes here.)  

Looking for a Laugh or Three?

There are a number of places easily found online.  You might want to jot down 

boredpanda.com  Daily they have all sorts of fun.  Recently they ran a bunch of signs put out by the El Arroyo.com  a restaurant in Austin Texas that has continually amused the customers on a daily basis.

Sample - The teacher who said my kid was a joy to teach lied.

Remember when you wished the weekend would last forever - are you happy now?

I have a Skype meeting this afternoon -  got get into my business pajamas

What did the drummer name his new twin daughters?  Anna 1 and Anna 2

Friends are therapists that you can drink with.

There's another great site -- jokes4us.com    They've broken down their offerings to ethnicity, religious, "adult humor"and on and on.  A new category is Donald Trump Jokes.  

The best part of browsing a joke site is no one knows what you chose to laugh at.  They can't persecute you for what it was because they didn't see it.

If You Don't Laugh, Money Back

A good friend, known for having The Best Jokes sent this:

If schoolteachers are armed, do librarians get silencers?   RAh HA HA