We just don't know it. In fact, they have a secret Face Book site call TSABreakroom with 18,000 members. Airport by airport, fellow travelers, we're seriously outnumbered.
And remember the part about they don't like us either?
This site has the usual complaints about management (often more hated than hapless travelers) with some special twists that come with the job.
The caption beneath a very big, very fat "child" - looks to be about 8 or 9 years old - reads: "She's old enough to drive a Kia - get her grown ass outta that stroller."
A pet peeve appears to be "Well, I went through another airport and they didn't say anything." Many were their thoughts on that! The best would be: "Bitch I don't care. This is my airport and my checkpoint and this is how we do it here."
I must add to this report by saying that all the ones we encountered at LAX are quite affable. I think we as pax have something of an obligation to make the inevitable beeps and chirps and pat downs pleasant. Charles de Gaulle, Paris, is hell bent to pat you down and they do not use a wand. They use a gloved hand which makes the passenger wonder just how far they intend to go. An evil sign those gloves.
When they were issued new gloves - black and shiny looking, sinister somehow - names for them were solicited. These made the cut:
The Jack the Ripper Signature Model
The Boston Stranglers
The O.J.s
There is a minor detail that will tell you if you're about to get a random full tilt boogie check. Look at your ticket face, lower right hand side for the give away - SSSS or the LLLL. If you've got one, be nice. One TSA guy wrote, "Don't even try - you can't be pettier than the TSA."
Don't even try.
Thursday, November 7, 2019
Wednesday, November 6, 2019
Charity Giving From the Grave
Famed chef and adventurer in the world's kitchens, Anthony Bourdain, killed himself age 61 in June 2018.
October 30, 2019, iGAVELAUCTIONS.com held an auction that drew 3,000 people to bid on some 202 personal items from Bourdain's estate. This auction gleaned a total of $1,846,575. Much of the total has been set aside as a donation to the Culinary Institute of America (CIA). What went up on the block?
Bourdain's personal, custom knife - $236.50
A US Navy jacket presented to him by the crew of the Navy ship that rescued him and the rest of the "No Reservations" crew from Lebanon after the 2006 war broke out. $176,150
Simpsons cast signed script from his appearance on the show. $18,750
Three watches -
Rolex Men's Oyster $48,750
Panerai Radiomir $33,750
Patek Phillipe $26,250
Post mortem giving means you may be gone but you won't be forgotten!
Visit iGAVELAUCTIONS.com to window and comparison shop. Quite amusing in the now-November weather.
October 30, 2019, iGAVELAUCTIONS.com held an auction that drew 3,000 people to bid on some 202 personal items from Bourdain's estate. This auction gleaned a total of $1,846,575. Much of the total has been set aside as a donation to the Culinary Institute of America (CIA). What went up on the block?
Bourdain's personal, custom knife - $236.50
A US Navy jacket presented to him by the crew of the Navy ship that rescued him and the rest of the "No Reservations" crew from Lebanon after the 2006 war broke out. $176,150
Simpsons cast signed script from his appearance on the show. $18,750
Three watches -
Rolex Men's Oyster $48,750
Panerai Radiomir $33,750
Patek Phillipe $26,250
Post mortem giving means you may be gone but you won't be forgotten!
Visit iGAVELAUCTIONS.com to window and comparison shop. Quite amusing in the now-November weather.
Tuesday, November 5, 2019
Cluck Cluck Cluck - Who Knew Chickens Are So Smart?
According to Christine Nicol, Professor Animal Welfare, Bristol University. She writes to us via boredpanda.com this cheery morning.
Chickens can count to five. Why they would want to count to five was not disclosed.
They understand that an object that moves away still exists. This is information that comes much later to human babies.
Can recognize up to 30 other chickens. Do they give each other names or is facial recognition all that they need?
There are 25 billion chickens which is more chickens than humans. But admittedly with a much shorter life span.
All chickens today descended from the Red Jungle Fowl found in South Asia. They are said to be so shy that when picked up, they are so scared that they can have a heart attack and die. Self-killing dinner?
Some time ago I wrote about the pet chicken fad in Silicon Valley. Given the run of the house, wearing little diapers, cuddling with owners - now I understand why Silicon Valley's geniuses like chickens. They're just as smart!
Chickens can count to five. Why they would want to count to five was not disclosed.
They understand that an object that moves away still exists. This is information that comes much later to human babies.
Can recognize up to 30 other chickens. Do they give each other names or is facial recognition all that they need?
There are 25 billion chickens which is more chickens than humans. But admittedly with a much shorter life span.
All chickens today descended from the Red Jungle Fowl found in South Asia. They are said to be so shy that when picked up, they are so scared that they can have a heart attack and die. Self-killing dinner?
Some time ago I wrote about the pet chicken fad in Silicon Valley. Given the run of the house, wearing little diapers, cuddling with owners - now I understand why Silicon Valley's geniuses like chickens. They're just as smart!
Monday, November 4, 2019
"Won't You Let Me Take You On A Sea Cruise?"
The boat "The Maiden Factor" is looking for four new crew members for two legs of the around the world cruise. Requirements: you must have some sailing experience and you must be a woman. The Maiden Factor is an aluminum sail boat under the skipper ship of boat owner Tracy Edwards. She has a fascinating story.
She left home at 16 and began backpacking all over Europe. Working as a barmaid in a Greek tavern, one of the customers asked her how she would like to be the cook on his yacht? She would like it!
Her experiences on it gave her a deep love of sailing. And curiosity as to why sailing was such a Men Only sport. She is a quick learner and soon wanted to be the navigator.
Her first racing competition was in the Whitbread Round the World in 1989. Corporate sponsors were sparse as the Powers That Be didn't think a crew made up solely of women could do it. She did bringing in The Maiden as winner on two legs of the race and second overall for her class. Hers was the first all-female crew to sail around the world.
Forced for financial reasons, Edwards sold the boat but after help from King Hussein's daughter, the boat was relocated and restored. King Hussein was a believer and is quoted as saying, "With faith, honor and courage, anything is possible."
Today it is on a three year long world tour, fund-raising for women's charities, aiding more than 1.4 million in 32 countries. These charities include:
I Am Girl
Just A Drop (sustainable water)
the Orchid Project (abolishing female genital cutting)
The Girls' Network
Room to Read (building libraries)
and no doubt more.
If this sounds appealing, visit themaidenfactor.org and read the blogs of current and past sailors. Read about five days without food ... terrific battles with the sea and bad weather, snapped main masts. Showers and washing one's hair are strictly rationed even though the ship carries a water distillery machine. Most of the time, the crew is totally isolated from the rest of the world. Just the Maiden and a helluva lot of ocean.
Our friend, a member of the LA Yacht Club, invited us to the reception for the crew while the Maiden lingered in the San Pedro/Los Angeles Harbor. They were 24 to 40 years old, very fit looking and personable. It was a pleasure to see and hear them. A documentary of this story is available and information about it on the Website. Thank you, Jan, for a very pleasant and informative evening.
She left home at 16 and began backpacking all over Europe. Working as a barmaid in a Greek tavern, one of the customers asked her how she would like to be the cook on his yacht? She would like it!
Her experiences on it gave her a deep love of sailing. And curiosity as to why sailing was such a Men Only sport. She is a quick learner and soon wanted to be the navigator.
Her first racing competition was in the Whitbread Round the World in 1989. Corporate sponsors were sparse as the Powers That Be didn't think a crew made up solely of women could do it. She did bringing in The Maiden as winner on two legs of the race and second overall for her class. Hers was the first all-female crew to sail around the world.
Forced for financial reasons, Edwards sold the boat but after help from King Hussein's daughter, the boat was relocated and restored. King Hussein was a believer and is quoted as saying, "With faith, honor and courage, anything is possible."
Today it is on a three year long world tour, fund-raising for women's charities, aiding more than 1.4 million in 32 countries. These charities include:
I Am Girl
Just A Drop (sustainable water)
the Orchid Project (abolishing female genital cutting)
The Girls' Network
Room to Read (building libraries)
and no doubt more.
If this sounds appealing, visit themaidenfactor.org and read the blogs of current and past sailors. Read about five days without food ... terrific battles with the sea and bad weather, snapped main masts. Showers and washing one's hair are strictly rationed even though the ship carries a water distillery machine. Most of the time, the crew is totally isolated from the rest of the world. Just the Maiden and a helluva lot of ocean.
Our friend, a member of the LA Yacht Club, invited us to the reception for the crew while the Maiden lingered in the San Pedro/Los Angeles Harbor. They were 24 to 40 years old, very fit looking and personable. It was a pleasure to see and hear them. A documentary of this story is available and information about it on the Website. Thank you, Jan, for a very pleasant and informative evening.
Sunday, November 3, 2019
Of Course I Got It Wrong!
How can you even wonder? I'm referring to Spring Ahead, Fall Back. In the bathroom, in the dark of night, I punched on the little travel alarm clock and the luminous numbers said, "6.07 a.m."
Usual getting up time. So I will! and slithered upstairs, lit a cigarette and on a whim, looked at the phone for the time, vague thoughts of 'something about time change?' and discovered it was 5:15 a.m.
Thumped back down the stairs, and into my side of the still-warm bed. Richie never twitched. He's smarter than I am, no hands down.
Usual getting up time. So I will! and slithered upstairs, lit a cigarette and on a whim, looked at the phone for the time, vague thoughts of 'something about time change?' and discovered it was 5:15 a.m.
Thumped back down the stairs, and into my side of the still-warm bed. Richie never twitched. He's smarter than I am, no hands down.
Saturday, November 2, 2019
But Would You Want Your Daughter - or Son For That matter - to Marry One?
Your child's resume reads: Snake Wrangler services. Was sent to find, trap and dispose any one of the four types of rattlesnakes found in Southern California. ( My method, though somewhat messy, involves a stick of dynamite. And again, is not suitable as a day job.)
Bo Slyapich, 61, is one such removal expert. His captives are put in plexiglass bins kept on the back seat of his vehicle (mine would be a Sherman tank) for removal to snake avoidance training programs for dogs. Otherwise they get transported to uninhabited land (and in my case, if it wasn't it soon would be as my running feet would thunder through the echoing silence.) He joked to the reporter that he isn't too hasty getting rid of them. He joked, "I keep them until the check clears" which is pragmatic businessman to the core.
If you call first responders to a snake sighting, the firemen have shovels and axes and that snake will not trouble anyone any further. However, if they can't get to the snake, they let it go and both go on about their business.
One woman reported three snakes in two weeks. "One more snake and I'm selling the house," she is quoted. Another reported a grand total, over the years, of 100 snakes. Slypich has a number of repeat customers. In 50 years of working in this field, he says he has never been bitten. Good for you, Bo!
Keep on truckin' - if you have a snake alert line for rattlesnake sightings in Redondo Beach I'd be happy to pay a small sum to be on it. We already have possums, skunks, and the odd coyote, so why not snakes?
Snake deterrent fences work (or there wouldn't be so many snake deterrent snake fencing companies.) Specifications - made of sturdy mesh, 3 ft. tall and 3 in. deep in the ground. They cost $7 to $9 linear foot or $400 to $550 on three sides for a 20 ft. x 20 ft. back yard.
Good to know there is something snakes cannot get through, over or under. Roll out a couple of bales of it and git'er done!
Bo Slyapich, 61, is one such removal expert. His captives are put in plexiglass bins kept on the back seat of his vehicle (mine would be a Sherman tank) for removal to snake avoidance training programs for dogs. Otherwise they get transported to uninhabited land (and in my case, if it wasn't it soon would be as my running feet would thunder through the echoing silence.) He joked to the reporter that he isn't too hasty getting rid of them. He joked, "I keep them until the check clears" which is pragmatic businessman to the core.
If you call first responders to a snake sighting, the firemen have shovels and axes and that snake will not trouble anyone any further. However, if they can't get to the snake, they let it go and both go on about their business.
One woman reported three snakes in two weeks. "One more snake and I'm selling the house," she is quoted. Another reported a grand total, over the years, of 100 snakes. Slypich has a number of repeat customers. In 50 years of working in this field, he says he has never been bitten. Good for you, Bo!
Keep on truckin' - if you have a snake alert line for rattlesnake sightings in Redondo Beach I'd be happy to pay a small sum to be on it. We already have possums, skunks, and the odd coyote, so why not snakes?
Snake deterrent fences work (or there wouldn't be so many snake deterrent snake fencing companies.) Specifications - made of sturdy mesh, 3 ft. tall and 3 in. deep in the ground. They cost $7 to $9 linear foot or $400 to $550 on three sides for a 20 ft. x 20 ft. back yard.
Good to know there is something snakes cannot get through, over or under. Roll out a couple of bales of it and git'er done!
Friday, November 1, 2019
The Halloween Candy Tally
The free subscription site called nextdoor.com was of use, I must say.
North Redondo Beach - a Costco 150 count bag of candy plus more
Golden Hills, six large bags of candy
We never get anyone, so I stopped buying candy in mid-Redondo
South Manhattan Beach - I heard people say they are staying in due to the air quality and the fires (To which I say, "huh?" We have had a steady onshore strong breeze since they began)
Another from Golden Hills wrote, "Halloween is on a Thursday and that's a school night. And a lot of schools are having their own party."
Jane, our Libertyville, IL correspondents reports that as of 5:30 p.m. there "A few older trick or treaters." It was snowing here.
Charlie, Huntington, Long Island, reports a grand total of five.
Here? Nary a one. We now have two big fat bags of KitKats. Put them in a dark closet for next year? Fatten up the Thurs. Writers? Eh, we'll find a use for them. "Would you like a KitKat with your glass of pinot grigio?"
Will add to this informal poll as information comes in. Haven't heard from Kansas City or Texas yet.
North Redondo Beach - a Costco 150 count bag of candy plus more
Golden Hills, six large bags of candy
We never get anyone, so I stopped buying candy in mid-Redondo
South Manhattan Beach - I heard people say they are staying in due to the air quality and the fires (To which I say, "huh?" We have had a steady onshore strong breeze since they began)
Another from Golden Hills wrote, "Halloween is on a Thursday and that's a school night. And a lot of schools are having their own party."
Jane, our Libertyville, IL correspondents reports that as of 5:30 p.m. there "A few older trick or treaters." It was snowing here.
Charlie, Huntington, Long Island, reports a grand total of five.
Here? Nary a one. We now have two big fat bags of KitKats. Put them in a dark closet for next year? Fatten up the Thurs. Writers? Eh, we'll find a use for them. "Would you like a KitKat with your glass of pinot grigio?"
Will add to this informal poll as information comes in. Haven't heard from Kansas City or Texas yet.
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