You meant to go there, do that this summer, but life its own self got in the way. So - spend a cozy winter (it does get cold in Southern California - 55/60 is not for a day at the beach) and plan your 2020 vacay.
To make it more interesting, base your activities on your fire sign. There are four divided into three each in case you missed the '70s when you could walk into any amicable gathering and be asked - or ask - "So, what's your sign?" Fire signs are going to be put out by Water signs to explain the curiosity. One must Be Prepared!
Fire: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius
Earth: Taurus, Virgin, Capricorn
Air: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius
Water: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces
Readers Digest stole this from Vanity Fair (?) can't remember; was taking notes. Beh, enough maundering; let us get to our onions.
Aries - requires lots of activities. They want to be busy, busy and search out fun things like zipline rides, deep in a forest! Whee!
Taurus - Must have fine amenities. The old Bull is not going to go out and tour and NOT come back to a five-star hotel, thank you very much. Is the jacuzzi heated yet?
Gemini - They are roamers and explorers. They're the ones who stray away from the marked directions, get lost and cost themselves enormous helicopter and rescue team payback monies.
Cancer - They like the thought of travel, but the actuality of packing, arranging for pet caregivers, shutting up the house, turning off the iron annoys them. It's just easier to stay home.
Leo - Only the best will do. Leo's know that their butts were designed by God above to fit into 1st on a plane and next to the champagne in a limo. I think most of us share this opinion actually, no matter the sign.
Virgos - they have very active brains; they are thinking, scheming nd scamming every waking moment. They require distractions. Divert them by pointing and yelling, "See the monkey?" (No monkey visible for 40 miles.)
Libra - gregarious, and love to people watch. Easily found in sidewalk cafes, intimate bistros, chatting artlessly with all around them. New Besties left and right!
Scorpio - They only go on Big Adventures, thank you. The whole point of their adventures is bragging rights when they get home. That is, if they get home,
Sagittarius - love the physically-demanding stuff - free diving, hiking, parachuting...if it curls your hair to even think about doing (fill in) don't worry. The Sag will enthusiastically take your place.
Capricorn - these are serious people and their idea of fun is touring to learn about stuff. A natural history museum or visiting a Civil War cemetery or a Southern plantation …real turn-ons.
Bon vacance!
Monday, October 7, 2019
Sunday, October 6, 2019
Little Did You Know That You Didn't Care Until You Read This!
And this is what you didn't care about (and neither does this writer): (drum roll, similar to thunder before a storm) There are no Taco Bell fast food restaurants in all of Mexico. None.
There were though ,briefly, in 1992 when Taco Bell had 3,700 +/- in the United States.
Language was the problem. TB ads remarked on "crunchy tacos" and Mexicans didn't know what the hell "crunchy" was as most of their taquerias featured soft tacos. TB came back, calling them "tacostada" to point out the texture change and liken it to a tostado which is always crunchy and all the more welcome for that.
TB's management put in their first store next door to a Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet. Boom - sound of a taco hitting the dust. Daunted TB discontinued the idea.
In 2007 either management had changed significantly or decided, what the hell, let's try again. This time this initial outpost was put next door to a Dairy Queen (for dessert purposes?) it too failed. One ad man was quoted as saying that the idea of TB being in Mexico was like "bringing ice to the Arctic."
As a further explanation of TB south of the border, another added, "It's like Mexicans coming here to sell hot dogs."
The Taco Bell slogan - Run for the border! - was abandoned as well. It was felt to be a tad racist by the Politically Correct in the days of walls and immigration and so forth.
There is relief for Taco Mania Loss Grief in 22 other countries, 92 of which are in Europe in such places as Finland, Romania, Spain, Cypress and on and on but it's Sunday and the LA and NY Times crosswords beckon me back. I'm doing remarkably well in the NY puzzle which rarely happens. Much more interesting than Taco Bell and it's shenanigans or lack thereof.
There were though ,briefly, in 1992 when Taco Bell had 3,700 +/- in the United States.
Language was the problem. TB ads remarked on "crunchy tacos" and Mexicans didn't know what the hell "crunchy" was as most of their taquerias featured soft tacos. TB came back, calling them "tacostada" to point out the texture change and liken it to a tostado which is always crunchy and all the more welcome for that.
TB's management put in their first store next door to a Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet. Boom - sound of a taco hitting the dust. Daunted TB discontinued the idea.
In 2007 either management had changed significantly or decided, what the hell, let's try again. This time this initial outpost was put next door to a Dairy Queen (for dessert purposes?) it too failed. One ad man was quoted as saying that the idea of TB being in Mexico was like "bringing ice to the Arctic."
As a further explanation of TB south of the border, another added, "It's like Mexicans coming here to sell hot dogs."
The Taco Bell slogan - Run for the border! - was abandoned as well. It was felt to be a tad racist by the Politically Correct in the days of walls and immigration and so forth.
There is relief for Taco Mania Loss Grief in 22 other countries, 92 of which are in Europe in such places as Finland, Romania, Spain, Cypress and on and on but it's Sunday and the LA and NY Times crosswords beckon me back. I'm doing remarkably well in the NY puzzle which rarely happens. Much more interesting than Taco Bell and it's shenanigans or lack thereof.
Saturday, October 5, 2019
In Which Richie Plans an Excursion
He's good at this and yesterday was the perfect day for it. To start at the beginning:
the monthly South Beach New Orleans Jazz Club quit the Knights of Columbus, Riviera Village, because they really jacked up the rent. After undoubtedly frantic scurrying around to find a new venue, they discovered Alva's Showcase, 1417 W. 8th Street, San Pedro.
Neither one of us is that familiar with San Pedro so he proposed that we saddle up, ride down and find the place and O! incidentally, we could have lunch! I never require extensive coaxing to go out to lunch.
The new site looks interesting but we can only hope there's no church nearby and that members didn't score all of the parking.
We remembered a place down by where Ports O Call was (pause for silent sob) which was really a local place - fire station personnel were throwing a retirement lunch when we were there last time some 20+ years ago. Because it was on the water; because the view was a picturesque panorama of nets drying in the sun, a cat picking it's way across a pile of them; probably looking for a bit of shredded fish caught in said nets, we really enjoyed it.
Utros, Berth 73, San Pedro. They don't have their own Website, but social media has taken care of that - plenty of comments and several with the menu. There is also a dog menu. Four patties of beef.
First we had a beer. Pabst Blue Ribbon, $4.50 pint; Stella (Artois) "Chalice $6.50 a pint and Big Eye IPA $8 pint. We got an order of onion rings to go with our beers while we studied the menu. They were from a medium onion, well coated and perfectly fine with a serving of Ranch on the side for dipping purposes.
He got a cup of clam chowder, $4.50 and when I asked, he said it was thinner than the thick, clam and potato-crammed product he is used to having. He ate it all, of course. He followed that up with a Tuna Melt on sourdough bread while I had the Patty Melt on sourdough, both were $7.50.
One bite and our heads came up from the trough and we unison-ed "Damn! This is good!" What made our sandwiches so enticing? The sourdough was grilled perfectly. The hamburger in my patty melt was top grade beef. The tuna mix in his was plentiful along the lines of "my cup runneth over."
Best of all we were having a beautiful day - the sun was out; the light clear; the temperature hot in the sun, cool in the shade. We could have eaten out of the spacious terrace, but elected for inside at a sunlit table. Dessert never even entered our minds - we each had half a sandwich left over for dinner. Lunch was $32 before tip (always 20% unless the server is seen to spit in the container.)
Utros will never equal Pors O Call, but I'm now hot to go back, sit outside, swill PBR to my heart's content and watch the gulls and boats and nets. How does tomorrow sound?
the monthly South Beach New Orleans Jazz Club quit the Knights of Columbus, Riviera Village, because they really jacked up the rent. After undoubtedly frantic scurrying around to find a new venue, they discovered Alva's Showcase, 1417 W. 8th Street, San Pedro.
Neither one of us is that familiar with San Pedro so he proposed that we saddle up, ride down and find the place and O! incidentally, we could have lunch! I never require extensive coaxing to go out to lunch.
The new site looks interesting but we can only hope there's no church nearby and that members didn't score all of the parking.
We remembered a place down by where Ports O Call was (pause for silent sob) which was really a local place - fire station personnel were throwing a retirement lunch when we were there last time some 20+ years ago. Because it was on the water; because the view was a picturesque panorama of nets drying in the sun, a cat picking it's way across a pile of them; probably looking for a bit of shredded fish caught in said nets, we really enjoyed it.
Utros, Berth 73, San Pedro. They don't have their own Website, but social media has taken care of that - plenty of comments and several with the menu. There is also a dog menu. Four patties of beef.
First we had a beer. Pabst Blue Ribbon, $4.50 pint; Stella (Artois) "Chalice $6.50 a pint and Big Eye IPA $8 pint. We got an order of onion rings to go with our beers while we studied the menu. They were from a medium onion, well coated and perfectly fine with a serving of Ranch on the side for dipping purposes.
He got a cup of clam chowder, $4.50 and when I asked, he said it was thinner than the thick, clam and potato-crammed product he is used to having. He ate it all, of course. He followed that up with a Tuna Melt on sourdough bread while I had the Patty Melt on sourdough, both were $7.50.
One bite and our heads came up from the trough and we unison-ed "Damn! This is good!" What made our sandwiches so enticing? The sourdough was grilled perfectly. The hamburger in my patty melt was top grade beef. The tuna mix in his was plentiful along the lines of "my cup runneth over."
Best of all we were having a beautiful day - the sun was out; the light clear; the temperature hot in the sun, cool in the shade. We could have eaten out of the spacious terrace, but elected for inside at a sunlit table. Dessert never even entered our minds - we each had half a sandwich left over for dinner. Lunch was $32 before tip (always 20% unless the server is seen to spit in the container.)
Utros will never equal Pors O Call, but I'm now hot to go back, sit outside, swill PBR to my heart's content and watch the gulls and boats and nets. How does tomorrow sound?
Friday, October 4, 2019
Fall at the Beach! Winterize Your Wetsuits!
What winterizing a wetsuit would entail is unknown to this writer; just jot it down as an attempted red alert that our "cold weather" is approaching. Southern California is not known for having cold much more than 55 degrees. But, wait! This morning it was 56 degrees out on the balcony. I know this because when I let Fred out for his every morning property surveillance, I looked.
Naturally I take this as a sign that real Fall is here. Fred agreed and trotted right back into the house having had a brief scan for traces of squirrel during the night. We are not short of wildlife here. Squirrel in the avocado tree from time to time; all year round for raccoons, skunks and possums.
Plenty of Fall to share. Here - have a bowlful!
Naturally I take this as a sign that real Fall is here. Fred agreed and trotted right back into the house having had a brief scan for traces of squirrel during the night. We are not short of wildlife here. Squirrel in the avocado tree from time to time; all year round for raccoons, skunks and possums.
Plenty of Fall to share. Here - have a bowlful!
Thursday, October 3, 2019
When Department Stores Go Senile and Confused
Case in point today is the 171 years old New York landmark Hammacher Schlemmer. The confusion that comes free of charge with their catalogs seems to be between whether they are a medical store, gadget purveyor or home yard decorations (Halloween and Christmas are covered in the issue I got the other day. Let us examine the offerings, presented here randomly.
In just two pages - Medical: back and joint pain reliever - which is only a cut -down rowing machine $169.95
Lady's Posture Improving Slippers Designed by an orthopod with a deep heel cup $79 And they are ugly ass. An old woman's shapeless open heel mess - a picture of a Parisian concierge flashed into my mind.
The Biofeed Posture Trainer. Composed of straps across the back (no front view) the straps either beep or vibrate to tell you to "Straighten up,, dammit!" which I would find greatly unnerving. $79.95
Moving on to home décor - a 2-story tall inflatable Grinch for your front yard. $399.95
The Colossal 16 ft. inflated Snoopy $399.95
The 16. ft. Glowing Inflatable Jack O-Lantern $299.95 The open mouth with LED lights might prove a little tempting for neighborhood kids who think it's a bouncy house. $299.95 plus any lawsuit charges.
The 2-story Inflatable Black Cat To say it looks grotesque is understatement. It is leering in a very unhealthy way. $299.95 to get the nabe in an uproar.
Christmas décor - the ubiquitous Thomas Kinkade pops up with a 6' pop-up already-decorated Christmas tree. His works are printed on the ribbons galumphing down the sides. For storage it folds flat In a storage bag you can get for $29.95. The tree is $199.95 Pop-up Christmas! How modren, , dahling.
The Thomas Kinkade Illuminated Teardrop-shaped front door sconce. The center is a snowman holding a lamppost (what's that all about?) and the whole thing has LED lighting. The color scheme is lavender (!) and white. Go figure.
I omitted gadgets deliberately as I don't fancy reading the joys of owning the best nose and ear hair trimmer on the market, leave your barber forever with this handy little clipper set; the only 4 in. long pop-out umbrella and so on. If interested just google hammacher.com. You're on your own, pal.
In just two pages - Medical: back and joint pain reliever - which is only a cut -down rowing machine $169.95
Lady's Posture Improving Slippers Designed by an orthopod with a deep heel cup $79 And they are ugly ass. An old woman's shapeless open heel mess - a picture of a Parisian concierge flashed into my mind.
The Biofeed Posture Trainer. Composed of straps across the back (no front view) the straps either beep or vibrate to tell you to "Straighten up,, dammit!" which I would find greatly unnerving. $79.95
Moving on to home décor - a 2-story tall inflatable Grinch for your front yard. $399.95
The Colossal 16 ft. inflated Snoopy $399.95
The 16. ft. Glowing Inflatable Jack O-Lantern $299.95 The open mouth with LED lights might prove a little tempting for neighborhood kids who think it's a bouncy house. $299.95 plus any lawsuit charges.
The 2-story Inflatable Black Cat To say it looks grotesque is understatement. It is leering in a very unhealthy way. $299.95 to get the nabe in an uproar.
Christmas décor - the ubiquitous Thomas Kinkade pops up with a 6' pop-up already-decorated Christmas tree. His works are printed on the ribbons galumphing down the sides. For storage it folds flat In a storage bag you can get for $29.95. The tree is $199.95 Pop-up Christmas! How modren, , dahling.
The Thomas Kinkade Illuminated Teardrop-shaped front door sconce. The center is a snowman holding a lamppost (what's that all about?) and the whole thing has LED lighting. The color scheme is lavender (!) and white. Go figure.
I omitted gadgets deliberately as I don't fancy reading the joys of owning the best nose and ear hair trimmer on the market, leave your barber forever with this handy little clipper set; the only 4 in. long pop-out umbrella and so on. If interested just google hammacher.com. You're on your own, pal.
Wednesday, October 2, 2019
When Strangers Discover That You're a Writer ...
You can expect to hear - nay, rely on hearing, "Oh, I wish I could write." Followed by a wistful smile that clearly says, "Sucker. Wasting your time on that!" To those others who clearly would like to write, I fix with a beady, squinted stare and reply, "Everyone has a story! What's yours? Write it down!" For some reason people seem to drift away after that … still haven't figured it out.
Today I read an entry about stories that one could write on a postcard. Here is the one that is appropriate albeit a little long to use in an actual conversation. It's the thought that counts. And this column is mine to express any I might have, no matter how deranged.
"There's a secret library filled with all of the books people meant to write but never found the time. No one has seen inside; no one knows if the shelves are full or empty, but they agree there's only one way to take out a book - WRITE!"
On a lighter note, see what you could do with this "postcard story."
"My mother was so proud when I joined up. She told me, "Everyone wants to marry a man in uniform!" and I didn't have the heart to tell her, "So do I"
Let your imagination roam as it will. Could you have written this? Did he (clearly a he) ever come out to his Mom? What happened then? Hit it!
Today I read an entry about stories that one could write on a postcard. Here is the one that is appropriate albeit a little long to use in an actual conversation. It's the thought that counts. And this column is mine to express any I might have, no matter how deranged.
"There's a secret library filled with all of the books people meant to write but never found the time. No one has seen inside; no one knows if the shelves are full or empty, but they agree there's only one way to take out a book - WRITE!"
On a lighter note, see what you could do with this "postcard story."
"My mother was so proud when I joined up. She told me, "Everyone wants to marry a man in uniform!" and I didn't have the heart to tell her, "So do I"
Let your imagination roam as it will. Could you have written this? Did he (clearly a he) ever come out to his Mom? What happened then? Hit it!
Tuesday, October 1, 2019
Happy 95th Birthday, Jimmy Carter!
The Democrats and Republicans have a great rivalry going on today. Nothing is too small to be picked over like a buzzard over a steaming pile of roadkill.
Today's victory goes to the Dems. Jimmy Carter will some day (hopefully quite far away) become the longest-living President ever. A rival, George Herbert Walker Bush, Republican, came in second at age 94 years and 117 days.
So happy birthday and quite a few more, Jimmy Carter!
Today's victory goes to the Dems. Jimmy Carter will some day (hopefully quite far away) become the longest-living President ever. A rival, George Herbert Walker Bush, Republican, came in second at age 94 years and 117 days.
So happy birthday and quite a few more, Jimmy Carter!
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