Sunday, June 28, 2015

30 Hours in the Hospital

What They Do to You (none of it painful per se) but annoying never the less.

First off for a CT scan.  They were looking for a clot of blood in my skull which could prove a transient ischemic attack (TIA) and none found.  Not satisfied, they decided to keep me in for 24 hours' observation.  Good as I am, I couldn't keep a rat entertained for 24 hours, but they insisted.  Remember this was after the paramedics pronounced me "Okay."

After a wait, I was taken up to a single room on the 4th floor.  Nothing much happened until evening when I was taken back downstairs for a carotid sonogram to see if anything was blocking them.  There was not.

This was followed by an MRI -- or as I think of it trapped in a washing machine with boulders -- of my head

Nothing wrong there either.

Back to the room.  A nurse told me that they weren't going to give me any hypertension drugs as they wanted to run my blood pressure 'way up to "saturate your brain with blood "So if you see, for example 200/180, don't be frightened." 

In retrospect, why didn't they just let me go home?  I'd cleared all of the other tests.  Why did they want to give me a stroke?  Hadn't I done enough for them by presenting "normal" in everything they could throw at me?

At bedtime, I was asked how I'd been sleeping? and I said "Not well - moving around in bed a lot to find a comfortable position.  Soothingly I was told, "We'll we're just going to give you a light shot of morphine so you'll sleep well!"  To my sure and certain knowledge morphine is not a sleep aid!  Although abusers might find themselves "nodded out." 

Subsequently somewhere in the dead of night, I was sleeping well.  The only reason I woke up was hearing my name softly but repeatedly being said.  Somewhat confused, I opened my eyes to find the face of the Asian male nurse 4 in. from my own.

Warning:  if you're going to Providence Little Co. of Mary, pack a lunch.  The food is beyond ghastly.  This is what I ate during 28-30 hours there - 1/2 pack Cheetos and one half sparsely spread peanut butter and jelly on whole wheat bread.

If you are hydrated for any length of time you will pee like a racehorse for the next two days.

And I hope passionately that none of you ever do have to go there.

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