Saturday, June 27, 2015

30 Hours in the Hospital

How I Got There in the 1st Place
Coming home from an errand, as Richie began to back down the driveway, my left hand began to tingle with "pins and needles" and when I dismounted from the front seat, I ... felt funny.  Richie handed me the walker and I said something to him and noticed I was slurring my words and the left side of my lower lip was numb - like Novocain. 

I sat on the edge of the daybed in the office while he called the paramedics.  Soon enough they showed up - four of them with more on the way..  Three were in uniform and the 4th had on his turnout's jacket.  I looked at him and asked, "Did you think I would pee on you?"

They ran me through the heart attack drill (which I'd already done for Richie - raise both arms straight up, smile/grimace, touch your nose, stick your arms straight out and touch the para's nose) took blood pressure, EKG,asked many questions as to onset, duration (15 to 20 seconds and gone.  Slurring gone.

The guy examining me said that everything was normal, implying false alarm as there was nothing the matter with me.  "Good," I said.  "I thought I'd be a catch and release.

But!  Wait!  The other three launched into protests, aimed at me - better to be safe than sorry  Let us take you over to the ER for a better look and foolishly I acceded.  Which I will never do again - even if they are stark naked except for a loincloth and closely resembling a much younger Brad Pitt.  Fuhgeddabout it.

On the other hand, in my defense (Ladies, many of you will understand) when three devilishly attractive - handsome men, totally fit, 30s to early 40s - want you to do
something you may well do it.

We all had a nice visit in the ambulance while Himself followed in his car.  We will take our leave of our heroine in the ambulance bay of the Providence Little Co. of Mary ER door.

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