Thursday, July 31, 2014

Guess What? Flight Attendants Hate Us!

Behind that "Welcome aboard!" smile (and farther down the body) beats a heart filled with black hatred.  That's right.  Unless you get on a flight with minimum intrusion on them.  Don't press the call button for anything - it makes an unpleasant "ring" in the galley.  Don't let your mate order say a rum and Coke and when he/she brings it, say "You know, I' d like one of those, too."  Don't complain about the food; they already know.  Don't complain about NO food; they didn't make that decision. 

Ordered to sit with my leg elevated, I have had a lot of time to read.  By happy coincidence Richie, after one of his periodic snoops through the garage, returned with  three flight attendant memoirs.  They were leftovers from research done in the late '80s  for a book on their history and purchased as they were published (all in the early 2000s)  Clearly I missed the boat on beating them to publication. 

"Air Travel Tales from the Flight Crew - The Plane Truth" by A. Frank Steward   Impact Productions   29
4 pages   $14,95

A. Frank (real name James Wysong) writes useful, helping flying tips along with amusing stories.  His tone is gentle and can be wry.  He's a former Brit.

"Plane Insanity" by Elliott Hester   St. Martins Griffin   236 pages   $13.95

Hester is funny and his tone is often a sort of benign bewilderment.  He covers (among others) the passenger from Hell; a smuggled python, prostitutes working the Steerage lavatories and more about overnights and antics.

"Around the World In a Bad Mood" by Rene Foxx   Hyperion   200
pages   $12.95s

She didn't lie.  She wanted to crack the New York stage and thought she'd just fly for six months to get a nest egg and see a little of the world.  She did get hired and proceeded to bitch all the way through training and on to a plane. 

Seniority was her chief gripe because the newcomers got the scut work seniors avoided.  She had a germ phobia and complains all through the book about collecting the trash.  Her attitude is:  the Queen doesn't collect trash.

I am grateful to Go that we never had to fly with her.  We have flown with outstanding F/S and it's because we consider them fellow human beings and conduct any business with them as we would like to be treated. 

Works well except on British Air.  If you gave them a gold piece every time they did something they'd still be the same snotty way. 

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