Exhibs, this is a real chance to flaunt it if you got it. Hanson Fitness, Manhattan, is offering stark-naked exercise classes three times a week, Monday through Friday (weekends you put your clothes on presumably.) Classes are male only; female only and mixed.
Given the icy temps there; given the assumption that the gym is perforce overheated to accommodate avoidance of goose pimples, chilblains and The Shivers, I wonder how many clients will shortly be calling in, "I can't come to the gym today - I've got a horrible cold - I'm just nailed to my bed!"
The founder of this movement - naked exercise - cites the reasons and benefits: "making you look and feel good naked!" This could backfire, you know, with post-class hegiras onto the streets of New York where the police are very likely not to want to know if you feel better naked than clothed. There may well be muttered imprecations regarding indecent exposure as the loser cop has to put the handcuffs on. Betcha that the back of that cop car will be nice and warm! Don't resist arrest; you will get a cold or the flu. Or scars where none might be expected. Gentlemen are especially warned for obvious reasons. Gentlemen keep "Junk Yard Destruction" in mind and behave accordingly - i.e., docilely.
Mr. Hansen continues, "unrestricted movement! keeps you cooler as you work out!" Re this "cooler" thing well, a great big DOH!
Dubious claim: releases endorphins, implication being "more of them" than clad exercise. I think a lot of people could release a helluva lot of endorphins just walking into a gym stark naked.
For the extremely shy, flesh-colored underwear is permitted. Don't get confused about what constitutes underwear and show up in the black lace or scarlet satin thong and nippleless bra get up.
Lest those living in England feel ignored, NaKeD Training takes place in Chiswick Sundays at 4 p.m. The first session is January 14, 2018.
The NKD trainer, Paul, also leads classes at "his private gym." There is a picture of this Trainer Paul and his eyes look quite mad. Go to him at your own risk, but bring a baseball bat or an axe to defend yourself. I wouldn't trust him dressed for an Arctic winter.
Sunday, December 31, 2017
Saturday, December 30, 2017
Author Sue Grafton, 77, Is Now "D Is For Dead"
What particularly interested me is that she was born April 24, 1940. The day before this humble columnist was born.
Clearly astrology is a big bucket of hooey since she is famous (and rich as a result) and I am not. Nor even close.
But it's possible I have had more fun writing because I'm not on deadline to crank out a book every six, eight or 10 months or go on the road pushing the latest volume. Admittedly, after a certain amount of fame and #1 selling books, that author can flaunt deadlines and stay home because he/she is a proven money maker.
For avid readers, the death of a favorite author is always a very sad thing. I miss Robert B. Parker despite the fact that Ace Atkins ably filled in for him. Subconsciously I worry about Stuart Woods, James Lee Burke, John Sandford, Penny Vincenza.
I think of what the Georgia Peach (a fellow barfly - more of whom in my next book "All My Rowdy Friends" )- always used to say on parting. He'd clasp one of your hands in both of his, look earnestly into your eyes and drawl, "Don't chew nevah die, heah?"
Well, Grafton did and mystery stories with a strong female protagonist as the heroine will be sorely missed by readers all over the world. RIP Sue Grafton.
Clearly astrology is a big bucket of hooey since she is famous (and rich as a result) and I am not. Nor even close.
But it's possible I have had more fun writing because I'm not on deadline to crank out a book every six, eight or 10 months or go on the road pushing the latest volume. Admittedly, after a certain amount of fame and #1 selling books, that author can flaunt deadlines and stay home because he/she is a proven money maker.
For avid readers, the death of a favorite author is always a very sad thing. I miss Robert B. Parker despite the fact that Ace Atkins ably filled in for him. Subconsciously I worry about Stuart Woods, James Lee Burke, John Sandford, Penny Vincenza.
I think of what the Georgia Peach (a fellow barfly - more of whom in my next book "All My Rowdy Friends" )- always used to say on parting. He'd clasp one of your hands in both of his, look earnestly into your eyes and drawl, "Don't chew nevah die, heah?"
Well, Grafton did and mystery stories with a strong female protagonist as the heroine will be sorely missed by readers all over the world. RIP Sue Grafton.
Friday, December 29, 2017
Put on Your Industrial-Strength Ear Muffs and Let's Go Out To Dinner
Which would be Blue Salt Fish Grill, 2515 Artesia, Redondo Beach. Check them out at BlueSaltFishGrill.com
There is a second Blue Fish on the southwestern side of the corner of Hawthorne and Lomita which is some distance from the house. I was thrilled to learn there is a closer one because the chefs at Blue Salt are very, very big on seasonings and spices and so am I. There are 13 separate sauces or dry rubs on order. To list only a few - Moroccan rub, Lime aioli sauce, spicy chipotle and cilantro butter, Italian herbs rub. .
There are 12 varieties of fish which include Opakapaka, Fijian opah, Baramundi. "Today's Freshest" are listed on a board behind the cash register. Other ocean creatures on offer are: grilled Mediterranean octopus salad, carpaccio of salmon, steamed clams, tostada ceviche...
Even the side dishes are exotic (I was born in Kansas so they're exotic to me) - spiced vegetable couscous, arugula and spinach salad w/shaved Parmesan and balsamic dressing, brown rice.
It's one very plain room with the requisite chrome chairs and smallish tables (they push two together to get four tops.) It is also, noise-wise, reminiscent of a soccer game in Europe.
They certainly were doing a gold rush business and every one of this crowd seemed not to have a volume control. But then ... they all got served and went away. We looked at each other in surprise and began talking in normal tones ...until the next wave of customers came surging in.
How to order and what happens. Walk up and read the board behind a counter, decide what you want, go to the end of the line (which does move quickly) and order it. The cashier last night was a very pretty Thai lady and, additionally, she was very kind. I ordered the PeriPeri Prawns, but hold the bed of baby spinach and baby arugula, please. She clearly was paying attention because she said, "You're having the Caesar salad - would you like the prawns on top of it?" Having no idea what peri peri sauce was, I didn't want it to mess up the Caesar flavor, which I do know. And I hate both arugula and spinach.
She still looked worried and said, "Over the Caesar, you get six, but the appetizer that you're having? Only four." I reassured her by saying I had a small stomach. Four giant prawns would do it.
You're given a stick with a number placard and wander off to find a table. Shortly, a waiter comes and puts a serving of ceviche in a cup on a plate with taco chips and a pair of little flat cups of guacamole and salsa crudo in the middle of the table. This is to tide you over until your order comes. The guacamole had a healthy infusion of tomatillo which worked out well. The salsa was the usual chopped tomato, onion, cilantro with a slightly oily liquid holding it all together.
Richie had a Stella ($4) and I a (generous) glass of pinot grigio ($4)
Richie's clam chowder looked very thick and creamy and he happily ate it all (cup $3.95, bowl $4.95) My Caesar salad was very crisp, fresh lettuce with shavings of brick Parmesan and a house Caesar dressing. Enough to serve two people ($5.95.) Most restaurants charge $10.00 for one.
Richie's crab cakes were huge! Both of them. They came with a house salad with a side of lime aioli and Chipotle dressing. ($7.95)
The Peri Peri Prawns really are prawn-sized (in Ireland they're billed as prawns, but are the size of bay shrimp to give you an example of shrimp misnomers.) They had been split through the shell which after being on the grill, unspread flared out making the prawn look like a butterfly. The sauce was slightly oily but a nice example of gentle heat. Rip off the shell and eat accordingly.
Dinner came to $37.80 (before $3.59 sales tax) and we were quite content. We will go back - at lunchtime when it's got to be quieter.
Since I was so curious about it, I Googled "peri peri sauce" Here's the recipe.
PERI PERI SAUCE
2 red onions, chopped
1 head of garlic, peeled and chopped
1 cup of African bird's eye chilies - can use jalapeno instead
2 red bell peppers, chopped
3 ripe tomatoes, skins off, chopped
4 T olive oil
Juice and zest of 3 lemons
1/3 cup red wine vinegar
Run this through a Cuisinart and then simmer until it tastes good.
There is a second Blue Fish on the southwestern side of the corner of Hawthorne and Lomita which is some distance from the house. I was thrilled to learn there is a closer one because the chefs at Blue Salt are very, very big on seasonings and spices and so am I. There are 13 separate sauces or dry rubs on order. To list only a few - Moroccan rub, Lime aioli sauce, spicy chipotle and cilantro butter, Italian herbs rub. .
There are 12 varieties of fish which include Opakapaka, Fijian opah, Baramundi. "Today's Freshest" are listed on a board behind the cash register. Other ocean creatures on offer are: grilled Mediterranean octopus salad, carpaccio of salmon, steamed clams, tostada ceviche...
Even the side dishes are exotic (I was born in Kansas so they're exotic to me) - spiced vegetable couscous, arugula and spinach salad w/shaved Parmesan and balsamic dressing, brown rice.
It's one very plain room with the requisite chrome chairs and smallish tables (they push two together to get four tops.) It is also, noise-wise, reminiscent of a soccer game in Europe.
They certainly were doing a gold rush business and every one of this crowd seemed not to have a volume control. But then ... they all got served and went away. We looked at each other in surprise and began talking in normal tones ...until the next wave of customers came surging in.
How to order and what happens. Walk up and read the board behind a counter, decide what you want, go to the end of the line (which does move quickly) and order it. The cashier last night was a very pretty Thai lady and, additionally, she was very kind. I ordered the PeriPeri Prawns, but hold the bed of baby spinach and baby arugula, please. She clearly was paying attention because she said, "You're having the Caesar salad - would you like the prawns on top of it?" Having no idea what peri peri sauce was, I didn't want it to mess up the Caesar flavor, which I do know. And I hate both arugula and spinach.
She still looked worried and said, "Over the Caesar, you get six, but the appetizer that you're having? Only four." I reassured her by saying I had a small stomach. Four giant prawns would do it.
You're given a stick with a number placard and wander off to find a table. Shortly, a waiter comes and puts a serving of ceviche in a cup on a plate with taco chips and a pair of little flat cups of guacamole and salsa crudo in the middle of the table. This is to tide you over until your order comes. The guacamole had a healthy infusion of tomatillo which worked out well. The salsa was the usual chopped tomato, onion, cilantro with a slightly oily liquid holding it all together.
Richie had a Stella ($4) and I a (generous) glass of pinot grigio ($4)
Richie's clam chowder looked very thick and creamy and he happily ate it all (cup $3.95, bowl $4.95) My Caesar salad was very crisp, fresh lettuce with shavings of brick Parmesan and a house Caesar dressing. Enough to serve two people ($5.95.) Most restaurants charge $10.00 for one.
Richie's crab cakes were huge! Both of them. They came with a house salad with a side of lime aioli and Chipotle dressing. ($7.95)
The Peri Peri Prawns really are prawn-sized (in Ireland they're billed as prawns, but are the size of bay shrimp to give you an example of shrimp misnomers.) They had been split through the shell which after being on the grill, unspread flared out making the prawn look like a butterfly. The sauce was slightly oily but a nice example of gentle heat. Rip off the shell and eat accordingly.
Dinner came to $37.80 (before $3.59 sales tax) and we were quite content. We will go back - at lunchtime when it's got to be quieter.
Since I was so curious about it, I Googled "peri peri sauce" Here's the recipe.
PERI PERI SAUCE
2 red onions, chopped
1 head of garlic, peeled and chopped
1 cup of African bird's eye chilies - can use jalapeno instead
2 red bell peppers, chopped
3 ripe tomatoes, skins off, chopped
4 T olive oil
Juice and zest of 3 lemons
1/3 cup red wine vinegar
Run this through a Cuisinart and then simmer until it tastes good.
Thursday, December 28, 2017
Manners and Egos
Prince Harry interviewed former President Barack Obama the other day. The Prince was acting as a guest MC on a Brit radio program and asked Obama a number of questions. One was what are some of the differences Obama found today vs. living in the White House?
Obama said, "I didn't used to experience traffic; (genial chuckle) I used to cause traffic."
Current President Donald Trump recently got construction permission from the city to build a helipad on the grounds of Mar-a-Lago for Marine One so as to eliminate traffic-snarling motorcades from the airport to the residence. Construction is a personal expenditure on Trump's part.
Obama said, "I didn't used to experience traffic; (genial chuckle) I used to cause traffic."
Current President Donald Trump recently got construction permission from the city to build a helipad on the grounds of Mar-a-Lago for Marine One so as to eliminate traffic-snarling motorcades from the airport to the residence. Construction is a personal expenditure on Trump's part.
Wednesday, December 27, 2017
January 1, 2018 and California Goes Dopey
Many of you may have noticed that as of January 1, 2018, recreational use (translation: getting stoned) is legal. This is a matter of no interest whatsoever to me as I got royally ripped off the only time I was a dope dealer. Put down the phone, the cops aren't interested in a then-crime in the late '60s/early 70s.
I was working with Lord Tim Hudson of his Brompton Productions. Among others, Timmie represented The Seeds whose most notable feat was going to #30 on the Billboard ranking.
("Pushin' Too Hard")
I forget how I ended up with a nickel bag, but I had and the guy who lived upstairs volunteered to buy it. The band (who probably left it with me because they had to fly somewhere) had authorized me to sell it for $5. Not a penny more, not a penny less.
The customer argued about the $5 price tag. I was adamant. He demanded "a taste" - common in those days due to a shortage of dope and over supply of oregano. He grumbled, but he paid me and pounded up the stairs to his lair above me.
A day later, he was at my front door, demanding his $5 back. "That was shit; I want my money back!" He was so intimidating and I was so scared of the very long arm of the law that I gave him his $5 back. A first offense carried a $500 fine and one to 10 years in prison.
Of course, he sensed my inexperience. Of course, he knew I'd fold. Of course, he had a free nickel bag and a good laugh at me. And the biggest irony was that I didn't smoke dope; didn't like it and never touched it after the first and only time I ever tried it. I didn't enjoy lying on the living room floor, losing myself in the 80 megawatt music (dogs were howling as far away as a half block), only stirring get up and to eat something else in the kitchen.
But speaking of eating and marijuana inhalation, this news from Jack in the Box who are promoting their brand new, go with the public's desires, Merry Munchies Meals!
The Merry Munchies Meal consists of:
a half-order of curly fries; a half-order of onion rings, two tacos (beef, chicken or cheese not addressed,) five mini-churros, three chicken strips and a small soft drink.
All of this largesse for $4.20 which is ever-so-cutely the number of the bill that passed to legalize marijuana.
Which, P.S., was treated like a drug in the mid-'30s in 35 States and was perfectly respectable. Or so I read in Wikipedia.
I was working with Lord Tim Hudson of his Brompton Productions. Among others, Timmie represented The Seeds whose most notable feat was going to #30 on the Billboard ranking.
("Pushin' Too Hard")
I forget how I ended up with a nickel bag, but I had and the guy who lived upstairs volunteered to buy it. The band (who probably left it with me because they had to fly somewhere) had authorized me to sell it for $5. Not a penny more, not a penny less.
The customer argued about the $5 price tag. I was adamant. He demanded "a taste" - common in those days due to a shortage of dope and over supply of oregano. He grumbled, but he paid me and pounded up the stairs to his lair above me.
A day later, he was at my front door, demanding his $5 back. "That was shit; I want my money back!" He was so intimidating and I was so scared of the very long arm of the law that I gave him his $5 back. A first offense carried a $500 fine and one to 10 years in prison.
Of course, he sensed my inexperience. Of course, he knew I'd fold. Of course, he had a free nickel bag and a good laugh at me. And the biggest irony was that I didn't smoke dope; didn't like it and never touched it after the first and only time I ever tried it. I didn't enjoy lying on the living room floor, losing myself in the 80 megawatt music (dogs were howling as far away as a half block), only stirring get up and to eat something else in the kitchen.
But speaking of eating and marijuana inhalation, this news from Jack in the Box who are promoting their brand new, go with the public's desires, Merry Munchies Meals!
The Merry Munchies Meal consists of:
a half-order of curly fries; a half-order of onion rings, two tacos (beef, chicken or cheese not addressed,) five mini-churros, three chicken strips and a small soft drink.
All of this largesse for $4.20 which is ever-so-cutely the number of the bill that passed to legalize marijuana.
Which, P.S., was treated like a drug in the mid-'30s in 35 States and was perfectly respectable. Or so I read in Wikipedia.
Tuesday, December 26, 2017
And a Partridge In a Pear Tree
Richie's cousin, John McG, has a puckish sense of humor. Every year he delights us with his wit. Doubles, you might say, because he celebrates Halloween - his favorite holiday of the year - and Christmas and always remembers us.
I am thinking of him and it right now since about five minutes ago, Richie brought in a sizeable box, labeled Priority Mail (and $13 worth of postage to make it so.)
I will list the delights said box contained - two Pez dispensers which are, frankly, the prettiest I've ever seen because usually they are homage to Daffy Duck or such. This time they are clear snow globes with a tastefully-drawn snowman in a red scarf with a black top hat posed in front of four green trees, each with a gold star on top. The simplicity and sincerity of them are especially attractive.
Next out came a Skiing Snowman." He's bent over his skis (the base of this statue) poles flying out behind him along with a red plaid scarf . Seen from the front, a three-quarter view or side view, he is the epitome of grace and skill on a pair of skis. However ... viewed from the back, it is immediately apparent that the Snowman has been hitting the egg nog with some vigor. (Big Butt.)
Build Your Own T-Rex! A pocket-sized puzzle which requires you to break apart day-glo dinosauer bones from each other and reassemble them until you have a recognizable T-Rex. Bonus points: the bones glow! If the power goes out or you haven't paid the electricity bill, fear not!
The IQ Puzzle is composed of two twisted, heavy, curves of metal looped somehow around the other that without opening the box I can't describe exactly HOW they are twined together. The minute I read the label "IQ Test - ages 8+" I knew we were doomed never to solve it. But it is a lovely chrome sculpture and will look good on the coffee table.
But, wait: There's more! Richie handed me what looked like a huge chocolate roll in a box and as my taste buds fluttered with anticipation (and my brain reminded me that the Snowman isn't the only one with a big butt) I looked more closely and the box label reads "SUPER DOOPER REINDEER POOPER" Thoughtfully included is a small cellophane bag of small, brown jelly beans.
This is not our first encounter with, for want a better phrase "poopy toys," as we have had the egg-laying chickens for some time. At Easter, after the table is cleared, we used to have the two chickens race down it and we'd bet on the winning chicken. The eggs are pastel colors.
Watching a wind-up toy totter forward dispensing jelly beans from its behind end, hearing the clack of the hen's feet or the clop of the reindeer hooves never fails to put me into paroxysms of mirth. Ordinarily I do not appreciate "bathroom humor" but this is the exception that proves the rule. I don't think anyone could not laugh. Thank you, thank you, cousin John McG - you've outdone yourself and we very much appreciate it!
P.S. Desperately searching the neighborhood for an 8 year old.
I am thinking of him and it right now since about five minutes ago, Richie brought in a sizeable box, labeled Priority Mail (and $13 worth of postage to make it so.)
I will list the delights said box contained - two Pez dispensers which are, frankly, the prettiest I've ever seen because usually they are homage to Daffy Duck or such. This time they are clear snow globes with a tastefully-drawn snowman in a red scarf with a black top hat posed in front of four green trees, each with a gold star on top. The simplicity and sincerity of them are especially attractive.
Next out came a Skiing Snowman." He's bent over his skis (the base of this statue) poles flying out behind him along with a red plaid scarf . Seen from the front, a three-quarter view or side view, he is the epitome of grace and skill on a pair of skis. However ... viewed from the back, it is immediately apparent that the Snowman has been hitting the egg nog with some vigor. (Big Butt.)
Build Your Own T-Rex! A pocket-sized puzzle which requires you to break apart day-glo dinosauer bones from each other and reassemble them until you have a recognizable T-Rex. Bonus points: the bones glow! If the power goes out or you haven't paid the electricity bill, fear not!
The IQ Puzzle is composed of two twisted, heavy, curves of metal looped somehow around the other that without opening the box I can't describe exactly HOW they are twined together. The minute I read the label "IQ Test - ages 8+" I knew we were doomed never to solve it. But it is a lovely chrome sculpture and will look good on the coffee table.
But, wait: There's more! Richie handed me what looked like a huge chocolate roll in a box and as my taste buds fluttered with anticipation (and my brain reminded me that the Snowman isn't the only one with a big butt) I looked more closely and the box label reads "SUPER DOOPER REINDEER POOPER" Thoughtfully included is a small cellophane bag of small, brown jelly beans.
This is not our first encounter with, for want a better phrase "poopy toys," as we have had the egg-laying chickens for some time. At Easter, after the table is cleared, we used to have the two chickens race down it and we'd bet on the winning chicken. The eggs are pastel colors.
Watching a wind-up toy totter forward dispensing jelly beans from its behind end, hearing the clack of the hen's feet or the clop of the reindeer hooves never fails to put me into paroxysms of mirth. Ordinarily I do not appreciate "bathroom humor" but this is the exception that proves the rule. I don't think anyone could not laugh. Thank you, thank you, cousin John McG - you've outdone yourself and we very much appreciate it!
P.S. Desperately searching the neighborhood for an 8 year old.
Monday, December 25, 2017
It's Not Too Late!
Depending on what part of the country in which you are located that is. I am referring to a great Ham-Go-With dish. And if you miss serving it today, the next Ham Holiday (I am referring to Easter) will be upon us before you can break all of your New Year's resolutions.
PINEAPPLE DRESSING
1/2 cup butter and 1/2 cup sugar creamed together.
Beat in 2 eggs, one by one
Spice to your taste with allspice, nutmeg, cinnamon and bang it all around for awhile, blending
Add 5 or 6 slices of white bread or half a baguette, cut into 1 in. chunks
Beat in one 20 oz. can crushed pineapple - you want the liquid to soak the bread.
Bake at 350 until the top is browned and bubbling - usually 45 to 60 minutes.
MERRY CHRISTMAS BELATED CHANNUKAH AND KWAANZA
PINEAPPLE DRESSING
1/2 cup butter and 1/2 cup sugar creamed together.
Beat in 2 eggs, one by one
Spice to your taste with allspice, nutmeg, cinnamon and bang it all around for awhile, blending
Add 5 or 6 slices of white bread or half a baguette, cut into 1 in. chunks
Beat in one 20 oz. can crushed pineapple - you want the liquid to soak the bread.
Bake at 350 until the top is browned and bubbling - usually 45 to 60 minutes.
MERRY CHRISTMAS BELATED CHANNUKAH AND KWAANZA
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