I justify my lamentable sneak attack on a meal out by the above rationalization …
Friday's Haircuts - El Gringo, 422 Main St., El Segundo elgringo.com We both liked it here - Richie for the enormous machaca burrito ($14) and my beef taco ($4)and cheese enchilada ($4) were sizeable enough, but happily were not as big as the 5 lb. doorstop his burrito looked to be. The small guacamole ($5) had the chopped tomatoes, chopped onion, and a heap of cilantro along the sides of the avocado mix and you composed your own based on what you like.
Lunch was $36.14 which included a Pacifico ($6) for Richie; water for me.
Tuesday (yesterday's) 10:30 a.m. with "Tom" a physical therapist who will be treating leftover limping from the total hip replacement four years ago using in-pool exercises. The first is this Friday. I look forward to it. Amusingly enough considering my lamentable habit of making sure I get good behavior food rewards out of almost any excursion … the map of how to get there details all of the fast food and sit-down restaurants in what looks like a wide-ranging area! How did they know?
But, I get ahead of myself. Yesterday post-appointment, we went to Elephant Bar in the cluster of restaurants at Hawthorne and Torrance Boulevards. It used to be good.
I'd forgotten how languid the service is and since it was 11:45 a.m., surrounded by offices and medical outposts and, farther afield, Little Co. of Mary Hospital (immense) I was surprised to see the place so sparsely peopled and the same slow service.
Richie ordered a regular Stella d'Artois beer ($7) and the Irish Pot Roast ($16.95.) I asked what made it "Irish"? and he said succinctly "Guinness." Generous portion and the carrots were most assured "al dente" big time. Richie mentioned it to our server. She volunteered to replace them, but he declined.
My Bloody Mary ($8) came garnished with a bamboo skewer through a (had to be) foot-long stalk of celery, a mozzarella-wrapped strip of cooked bacon and a pimento-stuffed olive.
I ordered French fries to go with our drinks. ($2.95). They were the little pieces that are left when the potato is cut for length. They were cool. They were left behind when we left.
The coconut skewered shrimp ($12.95) I ordered were tasty, but they came with a wild mixture of green leaves, sliced red cabbage and no dressing. I asked her about this and she said, "Oh, no, that doesn't come with dressing, but I'd be happy to get you a serving of salad dressing..." and rattled off about five. The only one I heard that lingered was the first one she named - ranch - so I asked for that. When it came, Richie used it as a dip for the French fries and I just dipped fork tines in it and ate a few bites of who knows what? greens. Won't be dropping in there anytime soon even if this PT pool would be the next building over. Especially not to spend $47.85 for lunch
Today no appointments, but "D" wants to try a place he read about in a local paper today at noon - Angel City Grill, Aviation, Redondo Beach. Keep Eating!
Wednesday, January 9, 2019
Monday, January 7, 2019
Joan Rivers: Still Talking
Which is the sequel to the book "Joan Rivers: Enter Talking."
My Parents Hated Me
My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller …
I'll never forget the first time my father took me swimming. It must have taken an hour to saw that hole in the ice...
For bath toys they gave me a toaster and a radio...
My parents hated me. My present for my first birthday was luggage...
On San Francisco
In San Francisco purse snatchers throw down the money and run off with the purse...
In San Francisco the banks are closed on Liberace's birthday
The leader of the Hell's Angel's nickname is Debbie...
Age
How old am I? At the Last Supper, I ran the hat check.
When someone asks my age, I say, "Bronze"
I can't remember my mid-life crisis - it was some time between the Civil War and Woodstock...
My Parents Hated Me
My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller …
I'll never forget the first time my father took me swimming. It must have taken an hour to saw that hole in the ice...
For bath toys they gave me a toaster and a radio...
My parents hated me. My present for my first birthday was luggage...
On San Francisco
In San Francisco purse snatchers throw down the money and run off with the purse...
In San Francisco the banks are closed on Liberace's birthday
The leader of the Hell's Angel's nickname is Debbie...
Age
How old am I? At the Last Supper, I ran the hat check.
When someone asks my age, I say, "Bronze"
I can't remember my mid-life crisis - it was some time between the Civil War and Woodstock...
Sunday, January 6, 2019
Joan Rivers Was A Hoarder
And lucky for us. Her daughter Melissa said that she saved everything - jokes in file cabinets labeled as to content - "Elizabeth Taylor" - so much material that she had a whole file cabinet to herself.
Some samples:
"I suggested that Elizabeth Taylor's wedding be a private ceremony because of what happened last time. After people threw rice, she demanded gravy."
"She's the only person I know who looks at a picture of 'The Last Supper' and asks 'Who got the leftovers?'"
"Liz isn't fat? The woman puts mayo on an aspirin!"
She created a character named Heidi Abromovitz -
"She was the only girl in high school whose yearbook picture was a fold-out."
"Her motto is "Two is company, three is $50 more. Tramp/"
The National Enquirer headlines - "Hitler Alive, says Amelia Earhart"
"The only article the Enquirer hasn't run is "Liberace is the father of my child"
On intellectually challenged - "I hear she uses a coke fork."
"Joan Rivers Confidential by Melissa Rivers with Scott Currie" 336 pages (it's a big fat cocktail table book) $40 but amazon it to me for $20.
Some samples:
"I suggested that Elizabeth Taylor's wedding be a private ceremony because of what happened last time. After people threw rice, she demanded gravy."
"She's the only person I know who looks at a picture of 'The Last Supper' and asks 'Who got the leftovers?'"
"Liz isn't fat? The woman puts mayo on an aspirin!"
She created a character named Heidi Abromovitz -
"She was the only girl in high school whose yearbook picture was a fold-out."
"Her motto is "Two is company, three is $50 more. Tramp/"
The National Enquirer headlines - "Hitler Alive, says Amelia Earhart"
"The only article the Enquirer hasn't run is "Liberace is the father of my child"
On intellectually challenged - "I hear she uses a coke fork."
"Joan Rivers Confidential by Melissa Rivers with Scott Currie" 336 pages (it's a big fat cocktail table book) $40 but amazon it to me for $20.
Saturday, January 5, 2019
Changing the Tedious to the Marvelous - Notes From a Spoiled Bitch
Admittedly it took me awhile to come up with this reward for nothing at all except the ability to sit patiently, for undetermined periods of time.
Because we're good friends and because I want the best for any stray readers who may wander past, I will tell you what it is and how it works.
Given the premise that few of us enjoy sitting in the doctor's office waiting to be called; listlessly reading old magazines at the dentist's, sitting still for a hair cut and other time wasters (after all we do have better things to do) I came up with this.
I make all appointments with the above around either a meal or the cocktail hour. Remembering always that it is 5 p.m. somewhere.
Examples: the orthopod is over by Torrance airport. The venue was TGIFridays until recently when they abruptly closed. Reasons unknown. No worries, on the way home we pass Lucille's Barbecue on Hawthorne with huge portions and the 'que ain't bad. Nor was the Bloody Mary I had or, apparently, the Stella Richie had.
Haircuts: Dale Snowburger, Tonsorial Parlor, El Segundo, has been trying to make us look reasonably attractive for 30+ years. We rarely go further north of here than El Segundo. Former restaurants have included Main Street Café (and yesterday it was for sale - do you sense a trend here?) Britt's barbecue has wonderful Tater-Tots with their excellent pulled pork; in nice weather the patio at Rock'n Brew is quite nice. We've often gone straight from Dale to the Oldtown Patio for a hydration session with a huge patio out back and reasonable prices. This would be after an afternoon appointment. They do very good sliders, too.
Ob/gyn is right in the heart of a cluster of restaurants across Torrance Boulevard from his office. We only tried SouPlantation once, not that good frankly, but we often have gone to Elephant Bar. I like their garlicy noodles.
The dentist: I had to have a deep clean with tons of Novocain or whatever drug is being used today and it was so pervasive in my mouth that I asked for the cotton log that lies between teeth and cheek to keep from biting myself. We immediately repaired a bar on Hermosa Avenue in Hermosa Beach. Ice cold beer is wonderful for gum swellings. I was muttering and lisping all the way from dentist to bar, but after two drafts, I was speaking normally. Double benefit - medical treatment and relaxation of stress.
Post fasting blood test: this is one that you want to be at the lab when the doors open; usually 7 or 8 a.m. it only takes minutes - swipe, plink, extract, band-aid and out the door you go - straight to Eat at Joe's in my case … "Yes, I'd like a smallish cheese omelet, burn the hash browns, a side of brown gravy and flour tortillas. Where's the syrup dispenser of salsa?" By the time I'm on the outside of all of that, I am almost (almost) looking forward to the next test. Richie loves their John Wayne Special (actually ordered by him when he had his boat the Wild Goose in the RB Harbor) and is happy to go even if he didn't have a fasting blood test.
So: plan your appointments carefully. You'll benefit from more than whatever medical treatment you are seeking. I see the orthopod at his satellite office Monday at 1:45. it's in an industrial/office building cluster in El Segundo. Too late for lunch, 3 p.m. or so, is not too early to have a beer at Oldtown Patio - we practically pass it on the way home. Certain traditions must be honored.
Because we're good friends and because I want the best for any stray readers who may wander past, I will tell you what it is and how it works.
Given the premise that few of us enjoy sitting in the doctor's office waiting to be called; listlessly reading old magazines at the dentist's, sitting still for a hair cut and other time wasters (after all we do have better things to do) I came up with this.
I make all appointments with the above around either a meal or the cocktail hour. Remembering always that it is 5 p.m. somewhere.
Examples: the orthopod is over by Torrance airport. The venue was TGIFridays until recently when they abruptly closed. Reasons unknown. No worries, on the way home we pass Lucille's Barbecue on Hawthorne with huge portions and the 'que ain't bad. Nor was the Bloody Mary I had or, apparently, the Stella Richie had.
Haircuts: Dale Snowburger, Tonsorial Parlor, El Segundo, has been trying to make us look reasonably attractive for 30+ years. We rarely go further north of here than El Segundo. Former restaurants have included Main Street Café (and yesterday it was for sale - do you sense a trend here?) Britt's barbecue has wonderful Tater-Tots with their excellent pulled pork; in nice weather the patio at Rock'n Brew is quite nice. We've often gone straight from Dale to the Oldtown Patio for a hydration session with a huge patio out back and reasonable prices. This would be after an afternoon appointment. They do very good sliders, too.
Ob/gyn is right in the heart of a cluster of restaurants across Torrance Boulevard from his office. We only tried SouPlantation once, not that good frankly, but we often have gone to Elephant Bar. I like their garlicy noodles.
The dentist: I had to have a deep clean with tons of Novocain or whatever drug is being used today and it was so pervasive in my mouth that I asked for the cotton log that lies between teeth and cheek to keep from biting myself. We immediately repaired a bar on Hermosa Avenue in Hermosa Beach. Ice cold beer is wonderful for gum swellings. I was muttering and lisping all the way from dentist to bar, but after two drafts, I was speaking normally. Double benefit - medical treatment and relaxation of stress.
Post fasting blood test: this is one that you want to be at the lab when the doors open; usually 7 or 8 a.m. it only takes minutes - swipe, plink, extract, band-aid and out the door you go - straight to Eat at Joe's in my case … "Yes, I'd like a smallish cheese omelet, burn the hash browns, a side of brown gravy and flour tortillas. Where's the syrup dispenser of salsa?" By the time I'm on the outside of all of that, I am almost (almost) looking forward to the next test. Richie loves their John Wayne Special (actually ordered by him when he had his boat the Wild Goose in the RB Harbor) and is happy to go even if he didn't have a fasting blood test.
So: plan your appointments carefully. You'll benefit from more than whatever medical treatment you are seeking. I see the orthopod at his satellite office Monday at 1:45. it's in an industrial/office building cluster in El Segundo. Too late for lunch, 3 p.m. or so, is not too early to have a beer at Oldtown Patio - we practically pass it on the way home. Certain traditions must be honored.
Friday, January 4, 2019
Earthquake Country
If you live in one, here is goodish news. If you retrofit your older home, and have proof, you can get a discount on earthquake insurance.
And just what is a retrofit that? you ask? To quote Dave Silva, Silva Construction, "It means to install, fit or adapt a device or system for use with something older," which in this case is your house! The goal is to keep your house safely on the foundation. Retrofit for houses can include: house bolting, foundation bolting and wall bracing. It's not cheap (but then your house probably wasn't either) running from $3,000 to $7,000.
Spring for it and the California Earthquake Authority will refer you to member insurance companies who offer this insurance will give you an discount on insurance up to 20% of the cost. This is primarily for houses built before 1979.
However, our house was built in 1964 and the frame IS bolted to the concrete foundation. I would advise you to take a look before you do anything. I look at new construction around here and sigh. Cheap-looking wood with a knothole every two feet or so … other sheets of wood seemingly fabricated from sawdust … One could get the feeling that a strong wind during construction could blow your putative house into the next street over.
In short, don't think that "newer construction" i.e. cheapest materials possible will protect your house from falling down. In the old days, they built hell-for-stout. Just consider the old missions which dot Southern California.
If you do look, and the framing is bolted down, take that $3,000 to $7,000 and go on a cruise! House falls down at least you're having a good time asea and run no risk of being found dead in the rubble that was once your house. It's called legitimate reassessment of existing funds. Or "female logic" as in, "Well I didn't spend this money for X so I am entitled to spend it on Y." Ka-ching!
And just what is a retrofit that? you ask? To quote Dave Silva, Silva Construction, "It means to install, fit or adapt a device or system for use with something older," which in this case is your house! The goal is to keep your house safely on the foundation. Retrofit for houses can include: house bolting, foundation bolting and wall bracing. It's not cheap (but then your house probably wasn't either) running from $3,000 to $7,000.
Spring for it and the California Earthquake Authority will refer you to member insurance companies who offer this insurance will give you an discount on insurance up to 20% of the cost. This is primarily for houses built before 1979.
However, our house was built in 1964 and the frame IS bolted to the concrete foundation. I would advise you to take a look before you do anything. I look at new construction around here and sigh. Cheap-looking wood with a knothole every two feet or so … other sheets of wood seemingly fabricated from sawdust … One could get the feeling that a strong wind during construction could blow your putative house into the next street over.
In short, don't think that "newer construction" i.e. cheapest materials possible will protect your house from falling down. In the old days, they built hell-for-stout. Just consider the old missions which dot Southern California.
If you do look, and the framing is bolted down, take that $3,000 to $7,000 and go on a cruise! House falls down at least you're having a good time asea and run no risk of being found dead in the rubble that was once your house. It's called legitimate reassessment of existing funds. Or "female logic" as in, "Well I didn't spend this money for X so I am entitled to spend it on Y." Ka-ching!
Wednesday, January 2, 2019
I Blame It All On the Gasoline Engine
I was relieved yesterday to learn that the Rose Bowl Parade carried through with what I privately think of as: the Mandatory Float Fire. Sure enough, there was one and as always, parade halt, fussing around, tow trucks belching smells and sounds, announcers ad libbing for all they were worth …
Truly a Traditional Moment. I went back in time and in the first parades, all of the floats were horse-drawn - in 1890 they didn't have gasoline engines except possibly on some rudimentary basis. In 1920 cars and trucks went in to use and thus a grand tradition was launched.
Which in this old world of strife, change, advances and declines, is welcome news. Thank God no one got hurt. If there has to be a traditional blaze, let it also have a happy ending.
Truly a Traditional Moment. I went back in time and in the first parades, all of the floats were horse-drawn - in 1890 they didn't have gasoline engines except possibly on some rudimentary basis. In 1920 cars and trucks went in to use and thus a grand tradition was launched.
Which in this old world of strife, change, advances and declines, is welcome news. Thank God no one got hurt. If there has to be a traditional blaze, let it also have a happy ending.
Tuesday, January 1, 2019
"But Look What We Could Have Seen!
All over the world (or so we are led to believe) the annual Dropping of the Ball on New Year's Eve in Times Square, New York, is THE thing to see.
News flash! We shoulda been in Key West Florida. There we could have been enthralled by the positively heavy rainstorm of fallinging stuff from high above. Incidentally "high" has more than one meaning here if you follow my drift.
In no particular order -
The lowering of the Pirate Wench from Tall Ship 2's rigging on Schooner Wharf.
The dropping of the Conch Shell, vehicle of choice of the Conch Queen, at Sloppy Joe's.
The Red High Heel Drop which is as it sounds - a human (captions identified her as a he) reclining in some ease in a bright- red stiletto- heeled woman's shoe. Made of wood, it is 8 ft. long with a 4 ft. spike heel. A photo indicated that this descent was aided by the Fire Department's tall ladder.
There is no doubt that all of the above are visible in the YouTube files. But it's not the same as actually being there - the warm sea breezes, the rising smell of beer and it's end product … the costumes of some of the participants... We are missing a hella good time. So I propose that those interested in seeing an entire city acting insane, save our pennies and next year charter a plane to Key West and be a part of it!
We can revamp the Sinatra classic from "Be a part of it, New York, New York" to "Key West, Key West." Frank, being dead now for quite some time is not available to record this change, but I think we're all well able to remember to change the destination.
Suck it up, New York.
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