Generally speaking, I would counsel avoiding it at all costs. Squashed on a small, hard seat, hemmed in by your bags and the people on one side (Richie on the other, elbows a flyin' even if the rest of him is not) trying to juggle a book and a Mickey D or a fat slice of less than lovely pizza or gnawing on a gigantic pretzel -undesirable. Taking hot food (aromatic) on board will earn you icy spears of glances that are genuinely hate-filled.
Plan ahead. If your flight is booked around the usual time for a meal, go to the airport early enough to eat in one of the restaurants there. Yes restaurant food is more expensive than fast, but this is your nerves you're dealing with here. A once-in-awhile splash out is not going to break the bank. And if it soothes pre-flight nerves, then write it off to mental health and order a flute of champagne.
A research firm rewardexpert.com has taken it upon itself to rank the various American airport restaurants and then tell us all about it. With no further ado ...
#1 - Denver
Root Down with breakfast, lunch and dinner gluten free, vegetarian service.
#2 - Phoenix
Chelsea Kitchen, the fourth least expensive overall serving American and Mexican
#3 - Atlanta
One Flew South, a 4 1/2 star recipient said to be not only the best resto at Hartford, but all over Atlanta!
#4 - Philadelphia
The least expensive with 80 different food stops including Geno's Steaks and Chickie's and Pete's which serves a special secret seasoning Crab Fries with a white creamy cheese dipping sauce. Mussels appear and a Blonde Lobster Pie which appeared to be a white pizza with "baby lobster" as a topping.
#5 - Houston Int'l
Le Grand Comptoir (The Big Agency)
It amazes me to think that there is a French restaurant in a Texas aiport (or anywhere else in Texas for that matter.)
Further Rankings:
Cheapest - Philadelphia
Local restaurant branches at the airport - San Francisco with Napa Farms, Mission Bar and Grill
Gluten-Free - Ft. Worth! Reason. There is nothing but bbq to eat at the airport.
Vegetarian - we aren't out of Texas yet - Houston Int'l with a choice of some 90 restaurants
Most Expensive - let's hear it for LAX! Slapfish Seafood serves lobster as a matter of course (ha ha) as well as caviar, priced from $60 to $394 per ounce. Why, yes - there IS a champagne bar! How on earth did you guess?
Wednesday, February 7, 2018
Tuesday, February 6, 2018
Becoming a Writer
I have long said, "If you can talk, you can write." I believe that. Many recipients of this sapient piece of advice have openly sneered at me. Prophets spurned in their own country comes to mind...
As a test, making a small start and using a short story as the vehicle, I will give you a line and you can make up a story. This is for fun. No points and no grades. Ready?
She (or He) turned down a friends invitation to go do tequila shooters by saying, "I don't drink tequila any more because the last time I did, I had money in my under pants when I got home."
Of note: Consumption of tequila is not a requirement.
As a test, making a small start and using a short story as the vehicle, I will give you a line and you can make up a story. This is for fun. No points and no grades. Ready?
She (or He) turned down a friends invitation to go do tequila shooters by saying, "I don't drink tequila any more because the last time I did, I had money in my under pants when I got home."
Of note: Consumption of tequila is not a requirement.
Monday, February 5, 2018
I Won't Make the NY Times Book List Anytime Soon ...
A friend remarked that his book was number so-and-so on the amazon.com list.
This was news - that this information existed and that I could see it. So I found out how to do it and did. It is not heartening news. On the other hand it could probably be worse. Most things are when you get all the way down to the nitpicking.
The amazon.com "all of the books we sell" category puts me at #4,997,633. Yes four million, nearly five million away from #1. Good thing that long lives run in the family, true; but doubtful that Methuselah could live long enough to make the top 5,000.
But! Help is on the way (sorta.) In the Humor Books section I am ranked #7,614 - quite possibly out of 7,615 total.
If nothing else the distance between the two numbers above makes me feel like the Homecoming Queen. The hell with going after the impossible (i.e. nearly five million) I shall do some minor basking down in the caves of the Humor department. Maybe they store champagne down there, too.
This was news - that this information existed and that I could see it. So I found out how to do it and did. It is not heartening news. On the other hand it could probably be worse. Most things are when you get all the way down to the nitpicking.
The amazon.com "all of the books we sell" category puts me at #4,997,633. Yes four million, nearly five million away from #1. Good thing that long lives run in the family, true; but doubtful that Methuselah could live long enough to make the top 5,000.
But! Help is on the way (sorta.) In the Humor Books section I am ranked #7,614 - quite possibly out of 7,615 total.
If nothing else the distance between the two numbers above makes me feel like the Homecoming Queen. The hell with going after the impossible (i.e. nearly five million) I shall do some minor basking down in the caves of the Humor department. Maybe they store champagne down there, too.
Sunday, February 4, 2018
LAS VEGAS - GOOD AND BAD
Which is which depends on your point of view, of course. These tidbits were gleaned from this morning's LA Times Travel section and the "bad" is not getting carried away by gambling in this instance. A "bad" example would be this writer's first trip wherein she wanted to sell the plane tickets to keep gambling. Cooler heads prevailed.
You Decide! about these particular Goods vs. Bads -
Hot to Trot? Land and then go to McCarran Airport Baggage Claim, Terminal 1 - pick up a marriage license. This office will be open and dispensing marriage licenses on Friday, February 17th, from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Not flying in? Think you'll save a buck by driving? Rah ha ha ha ha ha You are a card!
The hotel casinos are charging parking! As if they can't turn you "virtually" upside down and collect all of the loose coins, you no longer can whiz in and out of their parking lots in search of the Big Win.
These nine are free for the first hour and then $9+ for the next two hours.
Aria, Bellagio, Vdara, Delano (?) MGM Grand, Mandalay Bay, The Mirage, Monte Carlo and New York, New York.
Circus Circus - self-parking is free, but the valet is $12.
Excalibur and Luxor are free for the first hour and then only $6 hour.
If you are a restless gambler and you brought your wheels ... be warned.
The article didn't say anything about parking Downtown.
You Decide! about these particular Goods vs. Bads -
Hot to Trot? Land and then go to McCarran Airport Baggage Claim, Terminal 1 - pick up a marriage license. This office will be open and dispensing marriage licenses on Friday, February 17th, from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Not flying in? Think you'll save a buck by driving? Rah ha ha ha ha ha You are a card!
The hotel casinos are charging parking! As if they can't turn you "virtually" upside down and collect all of the loose coins, you no longer can whiz in and out of their parking lots in search of the Big Win.
These nine are free for the first hour and then $9+ for the next two hours.
Aria, Bellagio, Vdara, Delano (?) MGM Grand, Mandalay Bay, The Mirage, Monte Carlo and New York, New York.
Circus Circus - self-parking is free, but the valet is $12.
Excalibur and Luxor are free for the first hour and then only $6 hour.
If you are a restless gambler and you brought your wheels ... be warned.
The article didn't say anything about parking Downtown.
Saturday, February 3, 2018
Errr...WRONG!
Last night one of the 500 channels that Frontier provides to us at breathtaking cost and very little, if any, value at all decided to dust off the film cans with "Casablanca" in them as well as a cloud of rhetoric the emcee thought necessary to describe said contents.
Exaggeration or not? You be the judge! Such shibboleths as Best Film Ever Made! and then expansion on that dubious theme.
The best I can give it is: they didn't run commercials during it.
Because I was startled to hear Ingrid Bergman's beauty described in rhapsodic terms, I paid special attention to those scenes in which she was showcased.
Ingrid Bergman has a nose like Pinocchio.
By film's end I expected to see it dribbling down the front of her gown a little more after every speech. As Dorothy Parker once remarked about Katherine Hepburn's stage debut: Her acting covered all of the emotions from A to B.
If ever there was a film that demanded potential ticket buyers caveat emptor, "Casablanca" is one of the Top 10.
Exaggeration or not? You be the judge! Such shibboleths as Best Film Ever Made! and then expansion on that dubious theme.
The best I can give it is: they didn't run commercials during it.
Because I was startled to hear Ingrid Bergman's beauty described in rhapsodic terms, I paid special attention to those scenes in which she was showcased.
Ingrid Bergman has a nose like Pinocchio.
By film's end I expected to see it dribbling down the front of her gown a little more after every speech. As Dorothy Parker once remarked about Katherine Hepburn's stage debut: Her acting covered all of the emotions from A to B.
If ever there was a film that demanded potential ticket buyers caveat emptor, "Casablanca" is one of the Top 10.
Friday, February 2, 2018
Go Fund Me (imperative command) vs. Come Help Me (gentle suggestion)
A friend has apparently fallen on harder times than accustomed and her daughter put out the command "Go Fund Me" for $7,500 in her behalf. And then, borrowing Mama's address book, proceeded to blanket everyone on it with the same information.
I was appalled.
I grew up in the Midwest and there the custom is to offer something in return when you ask for something. Life is not a free ride in a limousine somewhere nice for us Midwesterners. Doesn't mean we're right and everyone else is wrong. Not by a long shot. Just that we get it that there's no free lunch. After all, our training started as toddlers - we left a plate of cookies and our parents poured the glass of milk for Santa.
What if there was an additional program called, oh, what about? "Come Help Me?" (with the question mark to soften it.)
The requestor could say, "My health has gotten so bad that I cannot:
Walk the dog
Scrape and stack my dishes
Grocery shop
Change the sheets and towels
Drive to the doctors' offices
Thus the helper could set up a dog walking schedule for three or four people so that no one gets it every day And they could bring their own dog for a play date which might amuse the captive dog a little bit.
Buy a gross of paper plates, napkins, soup bowls at a restaurant supply place (Smart & Final) and simply toss them after one use - and don't forget someone who takes the trash to the curb on the right day.
Have a friend or relative set up an account with a supermarket that delivers on a charge basis. Not handing the delivery guy a $100 bill which could be dangerous to your continuing health.
Dial-a-Ride does door-to-door doctor appointments for $1? Or 50 cents? It is a minimal price and cabs seem to have a senior fare, too.
Anyhow. The point of Come Help Me is that no money changes hands.
I was appalled.
I grew up in the Midwest and there the custom is to offer something in return when you ask for something. Life is not a free ride in a limousine somewhere nice for us Midwesterners. Doesn't mean we're right and everyone else is wrong. Not by a long shot. Just that we get it that there's no free lunch. After all, our training started as toddlers - we left a plate of cookies and our parents poured the glass of milk for Santa.
What if there was an additional program called, oh, what about? "Come Help Me?" (with the question mark to soften it.)
The requestor could say, "My health has gotten so bad that I cannot:
Walk the dog
Scrape and stack my dishes
Grocery shop
Change the sheets and towels
Drive to the doctors' offices
Thus the helper could set up a dog walking schedule for three or four people so that no one gets it every day And they could bring their own dog for a play date which might amuse the captive dog a little bit.
Buy a gross of paper plates, napkins, soup bowls at a restaurant supply place (Smart & Final) and simply toss them after one use - and don't forget someone who takes the trash to the curb on the right day.
Have a friend or relative set up an account with a supermarket that delivers on a charge basis. Not handing the delivery guy a $100 bill which could be dangerous to your continuing health.
Dial-a-Ride does door-to-door doctor appointments for $1? Or 50 cents? It is a minimal price and cabs seem to have a senior fare, too.
Anyhow. The point of Come Help Me is that no money changes hands.
Thursday, February 1, 2018
The Long-Distance Writers' Workshop
This may well be an idea worth exploring. Readers here are familiar with stories there - southbaywritersworkshop.com
I'm talking expansion! Why should this extraordinarily talented group be limited to only the South Bay? What about "writing it in"? With today's communications, wanna-be members could submit a chapter via a document on line and the recipient could then print it out, take the material to the every- Thursday noon to 2 p.m. meeting and read it for critique!
The helpful material presenter would be feverishly jotting down the critiques and then, back in his/her own office, alter the writer's document to display the critiques given and everybody's happy!
Wherever computers can communicate - so can writers and their first drafts!
I'm talking expansion! Why should this extraordinarily talented group be limited to only the South Bay? What about "writing it in"? With today's communications, wanna-be members could submit a chapter via a document on line and the recipient could then print it out, take the material to the every- Thursday noon to 2 p.m. meeting and read it for critique!
The helpful material presenter would be feverishly jotting down the critiques and then, back in his/her own office, alter the writer's document to display the critiques given and everybody's happy!
Wherever computers can communicate - so can writers and their first drafts!
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