Halloween On Your Street

 Some streets have large flocks of kids; others like ours, none at all.  

Except for the the time a local school bussed them in!  Mini vans with a parent in the driver's seat and, notably, one big yellow school bus!

Before we knew it we homeowners were yelling back and forth, "You got any left?" a reference to the Trick or Treat Candy Fiends.  

Let's just say that front doors shut early and the porch lights did, too. Thus discouraged, the kids took off and Halloween was over, never to be repeated like that!  

This morning Riche remarked that he was leaving the front porch light firmly off.  His Halloween is now officially over.  And not a bad thing at all.

Morphine Does Nothing For Me Except ...

 It will confuse you as to oriented X4,  I did okay on "Trump, Pence, Pelosi" and that calmed them down and  they quit bothering me.  Another point for what day it was  But privately, going home, Richie asked me something and I was stuck for an answer.  In short, I felt like I'd been through a war.  And continued all the next day.  

Don't suffer pain, but do ask what their entire store of pain-reliving stuff is.

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Scattered Syringes or Overnighter for One in a Hospital

Torrance Memorial (Tor Mem) bills it's self as a luxury hotel with touches like room service food 24/7.

More later it's shower time.

SUNDAY

Speaking of  kitchens   It's not easy to call this fabled kitchen via phone from room to said kitchen.  The number is 22225   That number is imprinted on my brain because of my inability to get through to them or, for that matter, anyone else.  The nurse came to my rescue and why her and not me I will never know.  I was using the correct number.  

Finally through, I gave the voice my breakfast order.  It was "Crispy bacon and half of a toasted English Muffin, please."  Whereupon the dietician said, "We have a strictly limited salt menu," which translated to "no crispy  bacon for you Missy."

This on the heels of one of the doctors telling me I had a shortage of Sodium in my system (and potassium)  I remarked to the nurse that apparently no one had told the dietician.

However, I did get to taste something I'd never eaten.  It was mi-afternoon and Richie and I were conferring about a late lunch.  I saw an item (and attractive picture) of a "Southwest Quinoa Salad."   Never having seen let alone eat any of this quinoa stuff, either one of us, I ordered it.  For those equally as willfully ignorant as I had been, (health food?  Arghhh) quinoa looks like baby tapioca beads.  I couldn't discern any flavor at all, but Richie liked the salad dressing.  The lettuce - kale? was as fresh as a smart-aleck kid. Great points to them and the kitchen had added a couple of packets of the dressing which should be done in restaurants everywhere.  

Monday/ 10-26-20

Never let anyone give you a morphine shot and why.

In Which Readers Digest Disappoints Me

I'm always delighted (until today)  when  it arrives and I know I've got blog material to steal. 

Here is pick of the litter, so to speak, this month. 

A friend was giving me and my Very Big Coffee a ride to work.  He hit a huge pothole that splashed it all over my front!

"Didn't you see that pothole?!"

"Hey, I hit it didn't I?"

***An old lady was accosted by a burglar her on her own front porch.  But he ran away when she yelled, STOP! ACTS 2;38! "  

"Why did you run?" the puzzled officer asked the burglar when he caught him."  The burglar said, "She said she had an axe and two .38s!"

***  My son won't eat corn unless I cut it off of the cob.  He's 27."

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Anchors Away!

Today - October 19th - back in 1944 - Franklin D. Roosevelt granted black women the right to join and serve in the  US Navy.  They were Lieutenant Harriet Ida Pitchers and Ensign  Frances Wills.   Both are well worth a deeper look.  Have at 'er!  Let me hear an "Aye, aye!'

Pick Your Hospital Before You Have to Go to One

 

We're lucky to live in an area that has two hospitals.   Just not so lucky in one of them.  Some illustrative personal experiences follow.  To avoid lawsuits - so dampening to the spirit...

Hospital L and Hospital T  

I briefly covered Hospital L in a previous column.  The one where the menu includes Macaroni and Cheese - from a box of Kraft's - in the supermarket.  

New examples.

Hospital L - fresh from Recovery - I was put in a room for an overnighter.  Some what confused by lingering anesthesia, I was labeled "a risk for falling"  The nurse told me as I drifting back off, "Don't try to go to the bathroom by yourself.  Call me."  Time passed.  Couldn't find the call button.  Kept stabbing at various buttons I couldn't see and finally she wandered in.  By then I had passed the holding tank's limits and to my horrified shame, I wet the bed.  Apologized profusely.  Twice more and she was visibly angry with me.  After the first, mind you, I'd asked for an adult diaper.  "Oh, we don't have those she caroled merrily.  Going home the next day I suddenly wondered, why the hell didn't they catheritise me?  quick efficient, controlled, if you will. 

This hospital as recently as 2014 was charged with wrongful death after a nurse put a feeding tube in a patient's lungs and (no surprise) it killed him.

Vivid contrast.  Was making a good will tour of Hospital T's ER.  After taking blood, an EKG, a CT and two MRIs of the afflicted area, they asked the question beloved by nurses "Can you give me a urine sample?"  She and I troddled down to the bathroom; no luck. Back in my curtained-off cubicle and she asked, "Can I catheritse  you - it's a one-time sample  and I can do it right here.  "Great!" I said."  Guess  where I'll go  if there's ever another reason to go.

You Can Break the Camera With Your Image

    This is a personal brief example - Richie grabbed a quick shot of me in my new home - the sofa - I wanted a different shot and low and behold the camera button on the phone symbol was gone!  Not there at all!  We both fiddled with it - nada      This morning I slid a whole half-page to the right and - THERE it was!

Now I have to find the photo.  Momentarily titled The Sloth In Her Lair

Tail Wags Dog

 File as above:  two local women, one 19 and the other older, got into a fight at the Redondo Beach Dog Park.  What triggered it unknown at this point in time.

Post Surgery

Taking longer than I thought it would - to recover from it.  But I will!

Stay out of ORs! 

We've Come To THIS?

 Re the Vice Presidential Debate last night (10/7/20  

This morning, did the media lead with any discussion about what was said politically to advance themselves or make a terrible error and blow the show - was it really about Pence and Harris?

According to this morning's media, the star of this "debate" was what looked like an ordinary house fly which landed on Pence's head and which lingered for a FULL TWO MINUTES soaking up the ambiance (?) before it departed the premises.

Some of the press it got.

Fly VP debate star!

Steals the show - The Guardian - stayed there for two minutes

Surprise accessory - NY Times

CBS News - presumably film of this absolutely riveting event.

This nation is desperate; I tell you desperate! 

Please Remit the Sum of $59,011.98

Medicare wrote in yesterday's mail an itemized bill - what was charged vs. what they paid for various services and supplies during my recent surgery.  Some of the numbers appalled me; others made me smile.  To amuse you ...

Pharmacy:

$1,712.32 to include blood test clotting time - $1,84lood typing for Rh (D) antigen - $141

Bacteria colony count urine $294

Services:

Injection: butacaine $3,742.82

Injection: ascetaminophen $3422.72   i.e. aspirin

Partial removal of middle spine; bone with release of spinal cord  $36,450

Anesthesia  $8,586.00

My piece of the action will be $1,000-something; it's upstairs and I'm down. Surgeon and Anesthesiologist together:  $45,018 

Overheard

 Richie and his younger brother Charlie, of Huntington, Long Island, were chatting Sunday afternoon.  I was listening because the phone always gets handed to me last,  and over his shoulder, Richie addressed me, "You've got to study!"  He turned back to Charlie and evidently answering Charlie's "Huh?" said, "She's got an MRI of her brain Monday afternoon."

I'm still grinning.

And I advise you not to make any smart remarks about my brain.  Please excuse me - I've got to go see exactly where our brains are.

 

Hunt Down the Picnic Basket!

We can go marvel at the Bridge to Everywhere in Long Beach - it's officially  open Monday, October 5th!  Let the traffic flow!

The way there is rather terse - get on Ocean Boulevard to the I-710  I happen to know that Ocean Boulevard is in Long Beach having shot quite a few Grand Prix's back in the day.  So:  don't believe what I just typed because I didn't write these directions.

But do do this - stop off at Jersey Mike's Subs for the picnic lunch especially if you can't be  arsed to make your own.  

We got a full-sized Italian meats to be cut up and shared.  here are just some of the ingredients - provolone, ham, turkey, caprio-something,  mortadella, lettuce, tomatoes, onion and all were as fresh as the girl who just slapped you for making an indecent proposal.   And was still daisy-fresh for lunch the next day.$19.95  

You don't have to go to a bridge to eat them, either. 

Jersey Mike's Subs - 561 N. PCH, Redondo Beach  310-374-4900  Opens 10 a.m.

It's Not Stealing -

It's only borrowing the genius of a friend.  Which is "Jay" in this case.  He wrote - 

Age 60 might be the the new 40, but 9 p.m. is the new Midnight

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

If I say, "The day," I could be referring to anytime between yesterday and 15 years ago.

I remember being able to get up without making sound effects

I had my patience tested - I'm negative

I finally got eight hours of sleep.  It took me three days, but whatever.

 

The Floor Splat

And much more.  I have a new something wrong with me and  the neuro set up an MRI of my brain next Monday.  Clearly anything that starts with a feeling of dizziness and then the patient is SPLAT on whatever floor covering she happened to be standing upon.  Since the end of August, right after back surgery, to date, I have had this happen to me six times.  I should have called my neuro after the first one.  

If you have never had an MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging) you will be lying on a rolling table attached to it and massive unexpected Bongs is what you will hear even over the type of music you have chosen.  I avoid  rock'n roll or blues because I can't keep from wanting to move with the music.  Go with half remembered Classical and let it lave you into peace.  Think of it like this which I made up:

                         MRI - Symphony for the Tumbling Boulders.