Thursday, September 7, 2017

Get to Your Wine Cellar - Quick!

Richard Branson Junior tweeted that all on Necker Island are safe despite being a little crowded in the wine cellar.  Giddy with excitement at being so close to their leader and prompted by his lavish gesture toward the many wine bins -"G'wan - arve a drink," staff has rather forgotten its manners.  "Put the empty bottle back where you found it full" is not being heeded.  The stone floor is now carpeted in shards of glass from careless revelers thanking their God and toasting their survival.

When the last puff of wind from whichever hurricane is passing at the time, has gone punishment will be delivered. Branson pointed out to staff that cuts from broken glass are not covered by health insurance nor is alcohol poisoning and anyhow, there's no hospital on Necker.  OSHA is going after Branson for that one - when the storm(s) are gone.

Branson in a gesture of bon homie urged fellow island owners to take cover immediately.  "My wine cellar provided such good protection, that I urge all of you to take cover in yours. Based on my experience with staff, I caution you to limit them to plastic water bottles.  Probably better for them in the long run anyhow.   Cheers!"

AP - 9-/7-17 
      Richard Branson's lavish houses on Necker have been destroyed.  To all potential vacationers planning on a visit, Branson assures them that the posh resort will be up and running by next Tuesday afternoon.  "The workers shacks have walls for privacy and it's a warm climate here.  Most of them are comely so if they have to wear rags, enjoy the view of some very pretty people!"

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