I have a near-criminal inability to amuse/indulge myself today when I should hold off for tomorrow. Often having filled up much of today with things I like or amuse me. Patience is a virtue I suppose ... just not for me.
If you work for United Airlines, don't get all pissy or ropable about what follows - it could have happened to Delta, American ... you name it.
Not enough seating; so prepare for a beating.
We have redeye and black eye flights available.
We treat you just like we treat your baggage!
Board as a doctor; leave as a patient
Once you're seated, you'll shortly be mistreated
Aisle, window or stretcher?
Rows 1 through 10 are now waterboarding.
The captain has turned off the no dragging sign.
United - the only airline where you can get a nose bleed while the plane is still on the ground!
We beat the competition, one passenger at a time.
I've heard of "fight or flight" but this is ridiculous!
Life is hard. Don't beat yourself up. Let United do it for you!
Drag me to my destination, please.
Hands-on customer service is who we are and what we do. We'll greet you, seat you and then beat you.
Roses are red violets are blue.
So will your face be
When we're done with you.
Next time my kids refuse to get out of bed, I'm calling United Airlines.
Aren't you glad I didn't wait until tomorrow? Taking tomorrow off. My work here is done.
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