Paula Deen Talks Funny

She's a mighty famous cook what lives down there in Savannah?  She don't put no "g"s on the ends of her adverbs ner verbs. 

And she writes funny, too.  In this sixth book of hers she mentions that she dictates books and the tapes are transcribed by someone else.

"Well kick me runnin'" is an expression I'd not heard.  Of her dog, Otis, "His head is harder than my arteries." 

Her cooking, billed as Southern Plantation, is difficult to describe in this respect.  Not one of the recipes in the book that I've come across is what I'd call "healthy."  She puts cream cheese in her lasagna!

She calls this "Sawmill Gravy" but I'd call it "Death Wish Personified"

1 lb. ground sausage (and I don't reckon she's talkin' none of that turkey ner tofu sausage neither)
4 slices thick-cut bacon  She doesn't say to, but I'd cut it in smaller strips
1/2 medium onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
3 T all-purpose flour
1 teas. salt
2 teas. black pepper
2 cups half-and-half
2 T butter

Saute the meats, onions and garlic together; add the flour and seasonings and cook for one minute, stirrin' constantly.  Gradually stir in the half-and-half, still stirrin' constantly till the gravy thickens.  Stir in the butter and serve it over biscuits.   

Nine ingredients and five of them are bad for you.

She frequently mentions "House Seasoning" which is:  1 cup salt, 1/4 cup black pepper and 1/4 cup garlic powder.

Instead of going to go read a scary novel about a psycopathic murderer, I'm going to go Google the menu for "The Lady & Sons restaurant, Savanna, GA."  I can feel the frissons of terror even now!