A Sad and Tragic Occurence

Wherein Macy's rejects my application for credit and I walk out with the store, so hah!

When we asked Michelle what we could bring her from America, she promptly e'd back:  Ralph Lauren's "Romance" eau de perfume and a tube of Revlon's "Fiery Magenta" lipstick.  I would point out however gently that she lives in France, proud host-country of such as Chanel, Coty, Geurlain, Dior, etc. Lauren's fragrances and Revlon's products are apparently not sold in France.  Shouldn't that tell you something about quality vs. quantity? 

Nix on the lipstick; the line has been discontinued.  I googled and found the perfume at Macy's, hence the visit there.  And yes they had it.  The nice lady was ringing it up and asked me if I would like to open a charge account?  If I did, everything I bought today and tomorrow would be 20% off.

I began to say, "But I rarely ever shop here.." when Richie interrupted me.  "Sure she does!" he boomed genially.

The first question on the little computer was:  "What is your monthly income and are you including alimony or child support?"  I blanched.  The next was:  "What is your yearly income?"  There's no key for "I beg your pardon?!" so I put in a random number.  Then:  "What are your monthly mortgage payments?"  So I made up another number.  Finally it ordered me to put in my Social Security number.

That's something I flatly refuse to do so I typed the first six numbers correctly and made up the rest.

Next thing I knew the nice lady was on the phone.  "They'd like to speak to you, if that's okay?" she said hesitantly.  "Sure," I said, reaching for the phone.

A disembodied voice asked, "What is your birthday?" so I told her.  I'm happy to do this because people ofen over-estimate it. ( I am 72, but have been taken for 102.)

The clerk talked a second or two longer, hung up and fearfully looked at me.  "I'm so sorry... but they're going to write you a letter; they're not going to give you a charge account..."  I laughed.  Richie laughed, too.

The very nice clerk said "Wait a minute!" and disappeared into the storage area.  She came back and handed me two, big Ralph Laurent gift-with-purchase "Keepsake Boxes" containing the travel collecxtion of "Romance" and a big plastic make-up bag from the makers of "Love Struck" whatever that might be.

She again said, "I'm so sorrry" and I grinned and said, "Thank you -- I'm not!" and trotted swiftly away, clutching my loot.