Guess What? Flight Attendants Hate Us!

Behind that "Welcome aboard!" smile (and farther down the body) beats a heart filled with black hatred.  That's right.  Unless you get on a flight with minimum intrusion on them.  Don't press the call button for anything - it makes an unpleasant "ring" in the galley.  Don't let your mate order say a rum and Coke and when he/she brings it, say "You know, I' d like one of those, too."  Don't complain about the food; they already know.  Don't complain about NO food; they didn't make that decision. 

Ordered to sit with my leg elevated, I have had a lot of time to read.  By happy coincidence Richie, after one of his periodic snoops through the garage, returned with  three flight attendant memoirs.  They were leftovers from research done in the late '80s  for a book on their history and purchased as they were published (all in the early 2000s)  Clearly I missed the boat on beating them to publication. 

"Air Travel Tales from the Flight Crew - The Plane Truth" by A. Frank Steward   Impact Productions   29
4 pages   $14,95  tripso.com

A. Frank (real name James Wysong) writes useful, helping flying tips along with amusing stories.  His tone is gentle and can be wry.  He's a former Brit.

"Plane Insanity" by Elliott Hester   St. Martins Griffin   236 pages   $13.95

Hester is funny and his tone is often a sort of benign bewilderment.  He covers (among others) the passenger from Hell; a smuggled python, prostitutes working the Steerage lavatories and more about overnights and antics.

"Around the World In a Bad Mood" by Rene Foxx   Hyperion   200
pages   $12.95s

She didn't lie.  She wanted to crack the New York stage and thought she'd just fly for six months to get a nest egg and see a little of the world.  She did get hired and proceeded to bitch all the way through training and on to a plane. 

Seniority was her chief gripe because the newcomers got the scut work seniors avoided.  She had a germ phobia and complains all through the book about collecting the trash.  Her attitude is:  the Queen doesn't collect trash.

I am grateful to Go that we never had to fly with her.  We have flown with outstanding F/S and it's because we consider them fellow human beings and conduct any business with them as we would like to be treated. 

Works well except on British Air.  If you gave them a gold piece every time they did something they'd still be the same snotty way. 

Born NEAR a waiting room; and apparently going to die IN one

Briefly.  The night of 7/12 - in the middle of the night - I got out of bed to pee, cut it a little fine around the corner of the bed and damned near ripped my little toe right off of the foot.  Muffling my screams, I accomplished what I'd set out and went back to bed.

The next day I was babying the foot on the stairs, slipped and barked my shin, removing a top layer of skin about the size of a silver dollar.  Naturally, that became infected.

And since then,

July 14th - Dr. Wynn, Urgent Care - two broken bones in foot
7/16  Dr. Maher, eye surgeon, to discuss up-coming cataract surgery
7/17  Dr. Kuo, podiatrist
7/22  Dr. Wynn
7/23  Dr. Gee
7/24  Dr. Wong for pre-up okay for cataract
7/28  Dr. Wong - recall on the blood test.  He refused to give Maher surgery permission, citing a low sodium count.
7/30  Aoki, physical therapist, wound care

Coming up -
8/4  Aoki
8/18  Dr. Kuo for x-rays to check bone progress.

I am grateful to God for the very good medical care that I get as well as the chance to comparison shop waiting rooms.   

Sights Around Town

This afternoon after mailing various birthday cards to such destinations as Loctudy, France; Hawthorne and Tarzana, we pulled out of the lot at the main post office and found three people (two men, one woman) setting up a table with  big Impeach Obama! posters.  I stuck my hand out the window and gave them a thumb's up.  Apparently the GOP has taken up community organization.  Who says we can't learn?

A Very Slow News Day ...

When Richie retired 11 years ago, he got into liking to cook breakfast on Sunday mornings.  My sister gave him a two-burner griddle one Christmas and he's been going strong ever since. 

This morning he decided on French toast, bacon and cut up strawberries.  Incidentally, cut up strawberries are a staple around here.  Much like milk and eggs. 

I thought to myself, "If the morning repast is going to be a piece of fried eggy bread, I want all of the "butter" and maple syrup I can load onto it." 

When my plate landed in front of me, it suddenly dawned on me that if I used my fork tines to make tiny holes all over it, the butter would sink in and so would lashings of syrup.

And I was right!  I recommend this small step...

(signed) Getting Fat in Southern California. 

Two Things That I Don't Understand and One That I Do

The August version of Bon Appetit landed here yesterday.  As always, I read it avidly.  And I noticed that in at least five recipes, one of the ingredients was "tomato water."  M.y goodness, you mutter to yourself - "What's tomato water?  Tomatoes don't pee - or do they?" 

It's a real no-brainer, despite the exotic name.  Put a colander in a bowl big enough to hold it.  Put chopped tomatoes in the colander and let them drain.  The subsequent fluid is "tomato water." 

The other thing I don't get is:  grilling half a head of lettuce - any kind.  The editors raved about how it brings out and deepens the flavor of the lettuce.  As most lettuces are tasteless anyhow (being composed of something like 90 per cent water) I fail to share their enthusiasm. 

But (finally) here is something I do know about!  Pickled watermelon rinds.  My mother made them every summer.  Watermelons were plentiful in Kansas City, MO. in summer and it is a Midwestern habit not to waste food.  Plus:  there were no watermelons in the Midwest in winter. 

Bon Appetit's recipe didn't look right to me - my mother used cloves, cinnamon sticks, allspice and most importantly - pickling spices. 

BON APPETIT'S PICKLED WATERMELON RINDS
1 four lb. watermelon.  Halve it and use a peeler to remove the tough green outer shell.  Remove the pulp for another purpose and set aside.

Now slice the rind in 1 in. wide pieces and trim the pieces so that you have  neat- looking small cubes..  Now you're ready to -
     
Take 1 Serrano chili, thinly sliced
1 One-inch piece of peeled ginger, thinly sliced
2 star anise pods
1 teas. black peppercorns
1 cup sugar
1 cup unseasoned rice vinegar
and the watermelon rind
Put a 1/2 cup of water in a saucepan and start boiling to a simmer.  Let it simmer for about five minutes and then remove from the heat and let it cool.   

Transfer the whole mess into airtight containers and let them chill for 12 hours.  They should keep for two weeks. 

Summer Double Whammy Recipes

Here in Southern California where we live, we do a lot of seasonal cooking - roasts in the winter - or cooler months - because our climate is (generally) so mild that older houses don't have heat or air conditioning.

Thus in summer we stove top or crock pot.  But Food & Wine promotes this recipe as No-Cook. 

GOLDEN GAZPACHO SOUP
2 lbs. golden or orange cherry tomatoes.
1 small garlic clove, crushed - I'd use three or four
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
1 jalapeno, seeded and minced - I'd use two
pepper to taste
1 avocado diced and tortilla chips for garnish

Put everything but the garnish in a blender and whir.

Then under a tag line "Genius Idea" they say to use this soup as a cocktail base with 1 cup soup, 3 T vodka and 2 T lemon juice.  This does not appeal to me.  Have a drink AND something to eat.  Do not mix them up; you'll only confuse your stomach.

This - Fried Shrimp Toasts - reminded me of eating them in what was probably Kansas City, Missouri's only Asian restaurant.  Kansas City at that time more or less had AN Italian restaurant or THE fried chicken restaurant ...  I still remember the "crisp" and "greasy" (two of my favorites) taste.

But this is an updated version with a Thai slant and for that reason it appeals...

FRIED SHRIMP TOASTS
1 lb. shelled and deveined shrimp, coarsely chopped
1 large egg
1 T tapioca flour
3 small Thai chilies, stemmed and chopped
2 teas. Asian fish sauce (would omit)
1 T sliced scallions
2 teas. minced garlic
2 teas. finely grated fresh ginger
24 baguette slices 
6 T canola oil for frying these now-loaded bread slices FACE DOWN and flipping to  lightly brown the backside of the bread.
Garnish with cilantro

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