Monday, April 3, 2017

Twofers

A Disappointing Diagnosis
When yesterday's Gemini horoscope said that the reader might have a touch of "oppositional defiance disorder" my ears went straight up, like a dog's.  "Ah hah!" I thought in triumph.  "I knew I didn't take ... interference... from anyone, but I never knew this was in the DMS 5!" 

Gleefully I looked it up and was bitterly disappointed.  What I thought was believing in yourself and your abilities was not.  To give you an example of what makes me tick, I have been considering for some time what I would name my new yacht when I win a substantial lottery.  I have not shared my name selection (let alone the yacht idea) with Richie because he would laugh so hard he would put himself on the floor in a coma. And he can't cook dinner like that.

I know you, dear reader, will be kinder.  Here are my yacht names; all are in response to the statement:  "You can't do that!" 

Ready?  "Watch me."  "Yes, I Can"  "Oh, yeah?"

But, as often happens, I was doomed to nomenclature failure when I read that Oppositional Defiance Disorder is a behavioral problem to two year olds, when it first presents, and teens.  It is not an exclusive situation or behavior.  Odds are good, given the age group, we've all had it.  Sucks, right?

So much for that.  Onward!

Be the Casserole Star at a Southern Funeral

Richie was rootling around in the "Richie's Room" famed collection of plastic bags, empty boxes, art supplies, piles of books and proudly brought me "A Southern Belle Primer or Why Princess Margaret Will Never Be a Kappa Kappa Gamma."  Well, one very good reason is she's dead, but moving on ...

Among advice (written in the '90s) that I suppose was true then, was a top 10 list of what to bring to the house after a funeral.  Because you always go to the deceased's home after you ground them.

Got a pencil? 

#1 Green Bean Casserole with cream of mushroom soup, canned fried onion rings and Velveeta.
#2  Grits casserole with grits, butter, eggs and garlic and Velveeta.
#3  Chicken casserole with broccoli, rice, cream of mushroom soup and Velveeta.
#4  Broccoli casserole with broccoli, rice, cream of mushroom soup and Velveeta

I'm seeing a trend here ... but let me leave you with a morsel to chew over.  A Dallas girl's first can of hair spray is more momentous an occasion than her first bra.  




1 comment:

Steve Burgess said...

What a fun little read this was! You have such a sassy sense of humor, I love it! I am from the south also so I can vouch for the fact that Velveeta is huge down there, not sure why but it is in everything. Thanks again for making me laugh and keep on writing!

Steve Burgess @ Atlanta Yacht Sales