A Timely Question - Why the Very Hell do 525 People Want to Live in Death Valley?

And yet they do. ( pop.525)  There are no gas stations.  The only restaurant is the Amargosa Café.  Jobs?  Ya wanna work in this heat?  There are two places - the park or a resort, such as Scotty's Castle.  The  Furnace Creek Inn is not actually in Death Valley.  A worker there told the reporter doing the story  that "When it gets to 120 degrees, it's so hot that the liquid in your eyes begins to dry up."

I suppose bragging rights might accrue in the club house at home;  "I played 18 holes 214 ft. below sea level!"  It's not going to be easy putting together a foursome; Death Valley Junction had manual phone service until the 1980s.  "Hello, Operator?"  May I speak to the Death Valley Junction Toll Station; the one digit number I'm calling is.  The Operator was in Los Angeles 150 miles away.

The Death Valley Railroad, long gone now, carried borax from a mine in the area.  The woman who ran the Amargosa Opera (!) there in the 1920s and '30s has long been gone and it is now a tourist attraction.  

My only conclusion in this matter is that People Are Strange; God bless them.  And may their winter start early this year and may the yearly average of 2 inches of rain be more fruitful this season.

Can Peanuts Contribute to Longevity?

I read in this morning's newspaper that today - August 18, 2020  former First Lady Rosalynn Carter is 93 years old.  She was born on this date in 1927.  

Husband  and former President Jimmy Carter is 95.  They have been married for 73 years.

Jimmy is widely known as a peanut farmer and the presumption is that peanuts would have been a large portion of their diet and since Jimmy and Rosalynn did and do everything together...

Incidentally a peanut is not a "nut."  It is (technically speaking) a "legume" which is an edible seed in a pod - examples are lentils and peas.   

If I'm right (always a dubious supposition) then don't save peanut crunching for just a baseball game!  Look at the Carters and hit it!  L Chaim!

"Oh, run down to the bacon vending machine and get me some, will you?

 I was startled to come across an article headed "Push Button Bacon" a reference to a vending machine that (for money of course) dispenses measures of cooked, smoked, bacon.   First thought was "I bet that's in Japan!"

But no.  Look to Oscar's Smokehouse of Warrensburg, New York.  Their refrigerated vending machines also carry three year old Cheddar and smoked pork chops - all priced the same as they are in the store.  

It is unlikely that beach dwellers will be trekking to upstate New York.  So for a much more local place to get a bacon fix, go no further than Slater's 50/50 bar and restaurant in the old Mermaid restaurant of the Hermosa Beach Pier.  

I quote some of the items on Slater's Bacon Flight - bacon with salt, vinegar chicharrons

Salted caramel bacon Kettle Corn

Crispy pork belly with jalapeno-bacon jam

It's worthwhile to pull up Slater's menus for plenty of ideas for  things you can prepare  and enjoy right in your own home. Oscar's Smokehouse came up with this vending machine thing in an effort to avoid face-to-face contact during The Virus.

But if for some reason you are in Oscar's neighborhood - pop in and take some pictures!  Preferably a galley of people's reactions when they push a button and bacon! comes out!

"Oh I miss airline food," said no one at all, ever.

The pandemic is doing more than its fair share to bring airlines to their landing wheels and one of them - Jet Blue - has begun to sell their snack packs for home consumption in an effort not to lose any more money than they are right now.  

Well, good for them, to make an effort to up their falling revenues.  They have sold 40,000 of them - to be stored by the hosts of Superbowl Sunday games?   Some kind of stag party?  As they are composed of cheese, crackers and dried fruit, you could make your own.

I am horrified to have to report I can't find a price on them.  And not for any other US airline that is selling a First Class dinner or a Business Class lunch.  Instead, you'll have to save your meal shopping list for trips in and out of Australia or Russia on Ural Airlines. 

 

Gate Gourmet sells 20 meals for $35 or 50 AUD

Ural Airlines flies in and out of Moscow, St. Petersburg or Yekaterinburg.  The Business chicken is $16.65; Economy chicken is $7.33.

One would think that such as LSG Sky Chefs or Gate Gourmet would sell a cookbook of various of the dishes  they sell to American or Delta or Peanut Air marked into class - "Our exquisite (dish) can be found in First on Alaska Airlines and here is how we make it."  

You can't get off of a cruise ship without a tour of the vast kitchens led by your genial chef who not only cooks (I'm still disappointed that we toured the day they had escargot soup and we missed it.) but has written this glorious cookbook of all of our wonderful dishes!  Chef will sign it for you - $35

Hotels have long issued cookbooks "from the BoomBoom Room!"  They got the idea very quickly.

Church Humor

The humorous bits some fun-loving churches sometimes put out are good for a laugh from the blackest sheep among us.  Usually the format is the billboard in front of the church but today social distancing demands that humor be kept inside in order to see it.  

Here, the Redeemer Presbyterian Church of New Orleans exhibits their method for keep us from seat/pew encroachment.  They use the usual white letter-sized typing paper attached to pew ends with pieces of a very noticeable blue tape.  

A few samples - 

I have prepared a place for you, just not this pew.

Reserved for Elijah

Jesus sat the 5,000 in rows, but not this one.

You will find me when you seek just not this pew

I bet it works a charm, too.  Most people are amenable to humor but not a direct order.  Good for you Redeemer for "getting" that.

The Dancing Weatherman or Nightly Screams of Laughter at the Dinner Table

The dinner table is ours and KABC 7's weatherman appears as we're forking it in.  His name is Dallas Raines (real name, too - didja evah?) who has brought new life to the normally dry, statement of fact most weatherpersons put out.  Raines is no less informative, but he does it with a flair not seen since the days of Fred Astaire.  

Impeccably tailored suits with slightly tighter pants than the norm seen in the street.  To say Raines is animated in his delivery is certainly understatement.  He has a move for every weather occasions.  Moreover, he's being doing this interpretive dancing to the weather for so long his moves have been recognized and named!  May I present to you the Dallas Dip!  The Swirl!  The Fist Bump!  the Golf Swing and last night's treat, the little skip.  I was literally screaming with laughter.  A 66-year old man doing a perfect little skip like a very  little kid. 

 As this had been preceded by a Raines "stalking step"  I think he was after  Palm Springs, which is forecast for 114 degrees today, you can perhaps my reaction.  

I am sorry to tease you with such a feast of nightly hilarity if you are out of range for Ch 7, but I would bet that if one wrote a nice letter to Channel 7 they would happily send you a clip of Raines doing his jive thing.  Certainly worth a try...

Quick! Get A Shot of That!

And once again we all quietly think, "Thank God for cell phones!  It wasn't always like this - the instant ability to get a shot of something.  In olden days having your picture taken was a real ordeal.  To make sure the person being photographed did not move, their heads were clamped in a brace and there they stood for up to half an hour while the photographer adjusted his camera.  There's a reason why infants and slightly older children were most often photographed in the mother's lap!  

Today the Library of Congress has the first albums which date back to the 1850s.  Back in those days, the usual photographer's target was the pater familias, the wife with the husband and quite often the first children of the couple.  Photography was expensive and few could afford more than a photo or two so each family - say the Smiths- had a Smith family album for all to share.   It was often on display in a central point in the album host's living room hence "coffee table albums."   

If these photos had been dated, listed who the people were and what the occasion was - "Uncle Jack and Barbara's wedding, 1901"  they became invaluable to genealogists.    "Ah-hah!  that fat Murphy lower lip!"  

Today it would seem that albums have become digital, too.  Numerous companies offer deals to make your own coffee table book, complete with space for captions, comments and so forth.  

All of this is in aid of something to do when The Virus has us shut up in the house.  I would bet that there's at least one collection of loose photos in anyone's house that could use some sorting and organization.  But - isn't it great to see that trip we took to (fill in) or "This is the whole story of Jack and Barbara - from dating to the wedding photos and the first kids … 

Take a trip back in time and bon voyage!