Tuesday, July 30, 2013

This 'n That

How To Get The Last Word In at Your Funeral

A.E. Hotchner's new book "O.J. in the Morning; G & T at Night" is his take on the world at age 93. 

In a chapter headed "The Train Is Pulling Out, Step Gently On" he recommends making a video of yourself for the mourners at the funeral.  During this video, it might be fun to throw out a last insult to an enemy or explain in detail why dealings with the former spouse shortened your lifespan considerably.  Go ahead!  None of them can sue you!  Whee! What fun!

I know that I've offered the delights of endlessly changing one's Last Will and Testament in a previous column, but this video thing really has legs as they say in the entertaibnment and wine industries.

It might be better to be nice.  Imagine that you are accepting a Lifetime Achievement Award at the Oscars and start thanking everyone profusely.  No music swell will drown out your words. 

Hotchner made himself a great cottage industry with his biography of Ernest Hemingway and frequent translations of Hemingway writings into movies and television presentations.

A Time-Saving Suggestion for the Senate and the House of Representatives. 

Voting in each of their houses they should pass a bill that allows the randier members of both bodies to wear togas.  A flip of the toga wouldd take far less time than undoing a belt buckle, unbuttoning the trousers and unzipping them.  Further the appearance of a toga-clad senator or Congressman would alert the pages and interns and they could safely scatter like sheep.

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