Monday, August 31, 2009

Lloyd Conducts a Seminar on Door Surfing

Red continued his reminiscing. He asked Richie, "Do you remember the time we'd finished playing ball and were going to the bar for a drink?" (Richie nods.) "We hadda take the subway and Lloyd was so impatient, he put his arm through the exit door. Cut it open right along here (drawing a line down his left forearm.)"

"So I said, "Lloyd, we gotta get you to the emergency room; get some stitches in that ..." and he says, "Nah, c'mon -- I thought we were gonna go get a drink."

"We'll get a drink afterward! C'mon!"

"So, we get to Emergency and sure enough, the doc has to sew it up. Lloyd's in a hurry so he tells the doc, 'Don't bother to numb it up -- just sew it so I can get outta here.' The doc shakes his head, but he does it - doesn't even bother to wash his arm off. Looking at Lloyd in that mood ... well, I can unnerstand."

"So I tell Lloyd, 'Go inna restroom and get that thing cleaned up' so he does. While he's in there, couple of cops bring in this huge black guy -- they've got him in cuffs, but black guy says he needs to use the bathroom, so they take'em off. Black guy goes inna toilet and Lloyd's got his leg in the way. Black guy snarls, 'Move your leg, white boy' and Lloyd doesn't say anything, just moves his leg. Black guy goes inna stall, comes back out and says, 'sneering, 'Didn't I tell you to move that leg, white guy?'

"Lloyd hauls off and hits him into the door so hard that the hinges break and the door and the guy go sailing out onto the floor! Cops look down at the guy and up at Lloyd, make a shooing gesture with their hands and say, 'Go'wan -- get outta here!'

Lloyd said, 'Now can we go get a drink?'"

EDITOR'S NOTE: I would never condone mindless violence like this back then or today. But it should be remembered that a good story never loses anything in the telling no matter how many years ago the event took place. I believe that Red was so fascinated by all of the above simply because it must have been like being in a movie! Or back in the Old West.

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