Loose Change in the Sofa

The Fire Hydrant On The Corner 
E-mail from the Deputy Fire Marshall, Redondo Beach, to Richie.  I will quote exactly.

"Dear Murphy,

I spoke with CA Water Service, and they are in the process of relocating the hydrant on Wooly and Comforter.* 
They said the work should be completed within a month due to the fact that they are relocating to a different corner (where it is now blocks a disabled parking space) at that intersection, and they are changing the size of the pipe that supplies it.  If you have any further questions all hydrants are repaired and serviced by CA Water Service and they can be reached at 310-257-1400.

Thanks so much,
(name) "

*False street names, author

Eating Gold
This business yesterday with the $2,000 gold pizza caused me to wonder if eating gold is harmful to the human body.  I'd think if it were, that the chef wouldn't use it.  "Customers Eat Gold-Leaf Pizza, Die in Restaurant" is not the kind of PR any chef (that wasn't crazy and sadly, so many are) would want.

I also wondered about the purpose of so doing.  Would chewing gold fill in any little dings on a gold filling?  Would it provide the equivalent of a liquid fast on the digestive system and more or less rotor-rooter out the system?  And just how much gold would you have to eat for either function?

According to various sources, gold is "biologically inert" (so is silver) and as long as the cook is using 22 to 24 karat gold, all will be merry.  Lesser karats are cheaper, but more likely to have an ill effect.  Gold garnishing is not a cheap way to make food, birthday cakes, etc. look better.  A package of 10 sheets of 23 karat gold is $49.99.  Why not just get a wad of $10 bills, sterilize them, shred them and serve them as the salad course?   Put some gold flecks in the dressing and bill it as Millionaires Salad.  I think I'm onto something here...

RIP Hugh Hefner
My only experience with Hefner was indirect.  Back in the 60s there was a national holiday called Secretary's Week (and who else gets a whole week?  Nobody, that's who)  and since my birthday fell within that week, my bosses always took me out to lunch, secretly congratulating themselves on being able to combine two costly events into one.

One year, my boss thought it would be terrific fun to take me to the Playboy Club for lunch.  I was cool with it and in fact, looked forward to the Bunnies bringing the drinks and food and doing their little bob - in his direction, not mine.  I knew it would make for a good story later.

And it did, because here is what happened ... he made reservations, we arrived punctually and we were told that my attire was "unsuitable" for the Club.  From raised eyebrows, I looked down me.  Navy blue Nehru pants suit with the longish jacket and collar that made it "Nehru." 

Quizzically we both looked at the Mamma Bunny or whatever her title was who said sternly that women in pants were not allowed in.  Putting aside the brief thought that the coutume de Bunny would not be accepted anywhere else but the Club, I asked what I could do?

She told me to go to the ladies room, remove my pants and come back, jacket only.  My boss and I looked at each other and then down at my jacket which barely covered my bottom.  As one we smiled, said, "Thank you" and marched out the door and up Sunset to Scandia where ability to pay was a great deal more important than what you were wearing.  Some $75 later, we went back to the office, laughing all the way.